How to Survive Karaoke Night When You Can't Sing
If you're like me, and sing worse than a wounded tone deaf warbler with a brouge accent, then the words "karaoke night" are probably two of the most terrifying words in the English language. If you have no choice, and no way out, then read on to learn how to survive karaoke night - even when you can't sing at all!
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Things You'll Need
- Quick wit
- A "group" song (not necessary - but heavily preferable)
- Alcohol (strongly recommended)
Instructions
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Even before you ever get roped into a karaoke night, be prepared. Think of songs you could be okay at in a room of drinking karaoke fans, and have a mental list you can always fall back on for every situation. You don't have to be great - being okay to passive (or bad but a crowd pleaser) can be enough.
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At the karaoke bar or night, immediately start thinking of songs that don't require a great singing voice. Group songs are preferable so you can mask your own tone deaf deficiencies. Also check out the article of top 10 karaoke songs of all time, linked at the bottom. These songs are "classic karaoke" and often get a crowd singing along.
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Think "classic karaoke," think "group song" (Earl Has to Die is a great cop out for a group of girls - especially if they've had enough drinks to be having too much fun) or think "blues." There are also the 'talk songs' like "Don't Worry, Be Happy."
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If you're legal age (and are not the designated driver), have a few drinks. Karaoke and alcohol go together. Heck, do you really think karaoke would exist without alcohol? I think not. A few drinks gives fake confidence, makes you less self conscious about the voice, and gives you a weak (but plausible) excuse in the office the next day about why your voice was way off.
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Group songs are great with the co-workers. Learn some B.B. King or Johnny Lee Hooker if you're a man with a gravelly voice and no ear for tone.
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Get into it while you're up there, and fake any confidence you don't have. In less than five minutes the pain will be over, and everyone will forget within an hour, so enjoy!
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Tips & Warnings
You could avoid karaoke bars all together.
Enjoy the small things in life. There are far worse things than being a fool for a little while.
To get back at the person who volunteers you, volunteer them for a song and then select "Stairway to Heaven." Point, set, match.
Make sure there are no high notes. Many a decent karaoke song has 20 seconds of high notes that are killer (a lot of 80's songs are this way).
If it's your boss, don't humiliate them by selecting "Stairway to Heaven." Not a good career move.
Resources
- Photo Credit Picture used courtesy of Virgin Media.
