How to Confront the Other Woman

If you've been cheated on, you may have an overwhelming desire to confront the other woman. There are pros and cons to confronting the woman that your husband has been unfaithful with and if you decide to do it, there are some things that you should consider before you do. We'll give you some tips and ideas on how to confront the other woman.

Instructions

1. First, decide if confronting the other woman is really what you want to do. If you don't personally know her, then she is not the one who betrayed you, your husband is. Think about what it is that you want to gain from the confrontation. If talking to your husband's mistress is going to help you in your healing process, then it may be a good thing for you to do.

2. Decide on your method of confrontation. Are you going to call her on the phone, email, see her in person, or write a letter? Decide what method is going to work best for you.

3. Make sure that you are calm before you confront the other woman. This can be very difficult, but allowing yourself a few days to calm down and prepare for the confrontation is going to help. If you are writing a letter or an email, you can write and rewrite it until you are happy with it.

4. If you decide to speak to the other woman in person, make sure that you do it in a neutral location. Consider having a third party come with you so that they are able to keep things calm.

5. Whether you write a letter or speak to her in person, keep the conversation focused on you. Use "I" statements rather than placing blame on her. Don't ask questions that you really don't want to know the answers to.

6. Try not to get upset if the confrontation doesn't go your way. Remember that you can never control what someone else says or does, but you can ALWAYS control what you say and do. Don't allow yourself to be controlled by what this person does or does not say.

7. Be prepared for the other woman to either ignore your attempts to contact her or to flat out refuse to talk to you. Yes, you've been wronged. No, you can't force someone else to do something. If she refuses your attempts to talk, there is nothing you can do about it. Do not resort to stalking.

Tips & Warnings

• If the woman that your husband had an affair with is someone you know or worse, a friend of yours, a confrontation is likely inevitable. You should talk to this person only with a neutral 3rd party who can help you to stay calm and can mediate the conversation.

• Do not resort to name-calling, childish put downs, screaming, etc. Yes, it may make you feel better short term, but it won't really accomplish anything.