How to Say No To the Things You Say 'Yes' To Out of Guilt

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By Lisa K Osborn
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Say No To the Things You Say 'Yes' To Out of Guilt

Do you regularly say yes, when you really mean no? Do you feel 'pressure' to say yes, or just feel guilty if you say no? Or my all time favorite; do you think it's rude to say no? If this sounds like you, and you're tired of saying 'yes' when you really mean 'no'; this article is for you.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Most importantly: a desire and willingness to leave behind your old bad habits; standing up for yourself and taking charge of your life!

Step 1

Your first step in overcoming this boundary problem is to give yourself permission to say no. This seems like an obvious answer, but honestly, so many women simply have never given themselves the okay to say no. Many of us were raised with the unspoken expectations that girls were to be 'nice'; we weren't to 'rock the boat'; or, one that used to be one of my biggest fears: "I don't want them to think I'm rude!"
Our first step toward establishing a healthy boundary will be: giving yourself permission to say no.
Step 2

Step 2 begins by practicing your new ability. No, I don't mean just saying the word no (although it must at least be in your vocabulary!), I'm talking about practicing saying no with close friends or family. What if these are the ones you have trouble saying no to, you ask? Then you'll need to practice with strangers. For instance, you're finishing your purchase at a popular department store, and the sales clerk asks if you'd like to donate a $1 with your purchase to such and such charity. In the past you always said yes to avoid appearing rude; however, that was the old you. The new you has discovered her ability to say no, and you feel great about it! This time, if you don't want to donate that dollar, you'll simply say: "no thank you". It's that easy. It really is.
Step 3

Martha's daughter...

Once you start saying no regularly in these small simple ways, you'll be surprised how empowering it is.
Step 3, our last step, will require a bit more assertiveness and the mental discipline to push past those old familiar feelings of discomfort in order to do what you'd never have thought of doing in the past: telling the truth. The next time your neighbor Martha, who always asks you to watch her daughter while she runs to the tanning bed, (because it'll only be a half hour which, of course, it never is), drops by unexpectedly ready to take advantage you, you're going to give her your new healthy, loving, and honest response. You'll smile your nicest smile and tell her that unfortunately you're not available today, you have other plans! This is completely true, of course, because your 'other plans' are not to watch her daughter! You won't believe how good it feels to give yourself the freedom to say no.