How to Resolve a Fight With a Friend

There's nothing worse than fighting with a friend. You feel hurt, your friend feels hurt, and then you don't have each other to turn to for help! Luckily most friendship fights are fixable. All it takes is a little compromise, a lot of love and tons of patience. Don't let your anger or hurt ruin a great friendship!

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Approach your friend when he or she is alone. Ideally, this is in person, but if it has to be by phone, make sure it's during a time when you know your friend has time and won't just hang up.

2. Ask your friend to set aside some time to talk. Don't assume that the friend has time right then, but rather schedule a time when you both can comfortably talk about your issues. Make sure it's in a neutral spot and not at one of your housesm as this can make the person who doesn't live there uncomfortable in expressing his opinions freely.

3. Prepare yourself before you talk with your friend. Outline, either mentally or literally on paper, the reasons why you're upset, why she may be upset and how you believe you can resolve the issue.

4. Approach the situation with an open mind. No matter what the fight, there may be reasons he has for the actions that occurred that you never thought of before.

5. Discuss the issue with patience. It should be more of a forum than a debate. Take your time in discussing your feelings in full, then let her do the same. Then enter into a back and forth about why each other's actions hurt and why you each did what you did.

6. Negotiate how you can fix the issue. The resolutions run the gamut from respecting each other but keeping your distance to simply forgetting the issue. Decide what works for each of you and what is best for each of your future in the friendship. Remember to respect both yourself and your friend - don't say you'll do something you won't, and expect the same of her.

7. Give each other as hug, a handshake or other form of affection that indicates the issue is resolved.

8. Go your separate ways for the day. Trying to hang out right after a disagreement may bring about bitterness or other unresolved issues. Instead, be alone to think about the situation and resolution and ensure you are happy with the outcome.

Tips & Warnings

• While preparing to talk to your friend, you might want to ask the opinions of other friends as to how to resolve the issue. Only discuss this with uninvolved friends. You don't want to put your mutual friends in an awkward position, and you don't want to appear catty or gossipy.
• There is not always a clean resolution to problems. You sometimes must accept the fact that your friendship may not go back to normal. However, you can find comfort in the fact that you tried your best if you try to resolve the problem.

[lauren122]

on 4/21/2009 thank you for this! 5*!

[WolfTech]

on 10/27/2008 very sage advice, and the warning is true aswell.