How to Reconcile Your Marriage

Many marriages encounter problems, and finding your way toward reconciliation can be a challenge. It takes time, commitment and hard work to make a marriage work. Do keep in mind that some things cannot be fixed or solved, but many marital problems can be improved upon or corrected, allowing you to reconcile your marriage.

Difficulty:

Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Assess, honestly, the problems in your relationship. Some issues, including abuse, do not merit reconciliation. If addiction has been a contributing factor, treatment is a critical component to reconcile your marriage. Both of you must take responsibility for your contributions and failures in your relationship.

2. Find counseling services. Couples counseling is critical, but many couples also find that they need individual counseling to work through the challenges in their marriage. If money is an issue, sliding scale marriage counseling is available in many communities. Pastoral counseling may also be appropriate if you are part of a faith community.

3. Be honest. Many relationships fail based on dishonesty, to a greater or lesser degree. There are the major honesty issues, like adultery, but also lesser problems that play out as poor communication in a relationship. The unbiased assistance of a marriage counselor can be helpful.

4. Work on your relationship. You may find it helpful to write in a shared journal or use other tools to ease communication about each of your needs. If you are not freely communicating your needs, you cannot work through your issues and reconcile your marriage. Be sure to make time for each other on a daily basis, as well as regular date nights.

5. Once the big issues are corrected in your relationship, you need to actively work together to prevent future problems. Hopefully, during the process of reconciliation you have recognized both of your needs and triggers. Consider seeking additional professional assistance for specific problems, including those relating to money or sex. Find new shared interests to keep the spark in your relationship. Most of all, be sure to keep the time, energy and focus you have applied during your reconciliation to the future of your marriage.