How to Get Someone into Counseling

Getting someone into counseling—including yourself—can be extremely difficult, especially when he is belligerent about going in the first place or has a major addiction. However, you must make the attempt. Here's how.

Instructions

    • 1

      Keep an empathetic tone when talking to someone about the need for counseling. Therapy needs to be undertaken because someone believes she needs help and wants to change. Don't play the blame game, either."If they are there because someone else decided they need help, it most likely will not work," says West Hollywood, California-based therapist Rebecca Roy-Jarboe. "Counseling is most effective when there is desire combined with consistency."

    • 2

      Take a stronger approach if the person is—or you believe he is—under the influence of drugs or alcohol.Roy-Jarboe points out that the nature of addictions means most people are in denial about their illness and won't surrender their habit willingly. In that case, you may need strong follow-through with a treatment center that has a team approach, she advises.

    • 3

      Take suicide threats seriously. Call 911 or take the person threatening to kill herself to the emergency room right away. She is likely in the throws of a deep depression, which limits her ability to think clearly. She believes the depression's message that it will never get better. Don't be afraid to take strong action just because your friend will be angry with you. You do not want to be burying your friend or loved one tomorrow because you did not take her seriously.

    • 4

      Pursue therapy before it's an emergency. In the case of relationships, therapy can be a last resort, but it shouldn't be.Don't wait until the relationship is in its final days to act. While many couples benefit from therapy, it has to be done when both parties are still invested in the relationship.

    • 5

      Follow through with anyone who has needed counseling, including yourself. Do spot-checks on how your friend or you are at emotional rest stops in the future. Consistency is key to getting better. Stay with therapy, especially if you are deeply troubled, addicted to narcotics or alcohol, in an abusive relationship, or have suicidal thoughts.

Tips & Warnings

  • If you are depressed, also work on healthy ways to lift your spirits—comfort a child, take long walks or call your best friend.

  • Don't dismiss others' suicide threats—act quickly and decisively by calling 911.

  • Call 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) immediately if you or someone you know has threatened to kill himself.

  • Don't be won over by the person who threatens suicide one day, then laughs it off the next. If you know she is troubled and has made threats, make sure these are followed up on or at least assessed by professionals. People can be joking off their suicide threat one day and be very dead the next.

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