How to Help a Domestic Abuse Victim

You can help her.

The recent media attention over singer Chris Brown's alleged domestic abuse of girlfriend Rihanna reminds us that domestic abuse remains a prevalent issue in the United States, affecting women of all socioeconomic classes. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1 in every 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime, with an estimated 1.3 million women assaulted by a domestic partner each year. If a friend or family member has come forward as a victim of domestic abuse, there are ways you can help her.

Instructions

1. Listen without judging. If a friend has admitted to being a domestic abuse victim, it likely took a lot of courage on her part to tell you. What's more, it indicates that by confiding in you, she trusts you. Listen to her empathetically. Domestic abuse victims often have had their self-esteem crushed by their abusers. Stress that the abuse is not her fault, and tell her you are willing to help her.

2. Present domestic abuse resources. Point your friend toward the numerous domestic abuse resources available online or in your community. If she is uncomfortable staying with friends and family, give her a list of women's shelters that cater to domestic abuse victims. The National Domestic Violence hotline (see References section) provides crisis intervention, counseling and referrals to local programs.

3. Encourage her to press charges. If not reported, most abusers will continue to abuse, with incidents of violence commonly escalating. Encourage your friend to press charges against her abuser and offer to go to the authorities with her if she needs the support. You can also help her obtain state-sponsored victim assistance funds, which can help cover medical expenses, lost wages and emergency needs. After filing a police report, a victim can apply for these funds at her local victim assistance office.

4. Provide information for legal action. Give your friend information regarding domestic violence victim advocates. Domestic violence victim advocates assist victims with legal matters like filing a restraining order. Unlike traditional attorneys, victim advocates have experience with domestic abuse victims and can provide advice in an empathetic manner that can help a victim feel at ease.

5. Report the abuse yourself if your friend refuses to report the abuse and you have strong reason to believe the violence is continuing. You do not have to directly witness abuse to file a police report; simply explain to the authorities everything your friend has told you and give your reasons why you are suspicious that the abuse is continuing. Even if your friend is angry, reporting the abuse is the right thing to do and may save her life.

Tips & Warnings

• Never confront an abuser or encourage a domestic abuse victim to confront an abuser. If you witness abuse, call 911.

References

• National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
• National Domestic Violence Hotline