How to Help a Grieving Friend

Being a friend to someone who is grieving can be very difficult. This article will offer some advice for helping friends and family who are grieving.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. BE THERE
   
   If your friend needs you, be there. The biggest part of helping someone through a tough time is being there for them to lean on.

2. IN THEIR OWN WAY
   
   Allow your friend to grieve in their own way — let them vent.
   ~You will best be able to assist them if you have no preconceived notions of how they will act. Sometimes their emotions can take us by surprise.
   ~Be ready to help in practical ways too.

3. LISTEN WELL
   
   ~Listen actively
   ~Avoid interrupting and just let your friend talk.
   ~Allow them to express their feelings, accepting the way they talk about it.
   ~Avoid being pushy and harassing the person into doing too much
   ~Avoid giving advice or suggestions.
   ~Remember that we all grieve in our own way, and what worked for you may not work for this situation.

4. WHAT TO SAY
   
   ~“I’m sorry” (for your loss)
   ~Say nothing, just be there for support
   ~Respond in your own authentic manner
   ~“This must be very difficult for you”

5. WHAT NOT TO SAY
   
   ~You must be strong now
   ~You’re handling this very well
   ~Cheer up; you’ll be over this soon
   ~I know exactly how you feel
   ~I understand
   ~You should count your blessings
   ~It was God’s will
   ~You’re lucky to have had so many years together
   ~You should be over it now

[naturenut]

on 6/20/2009 People do and say some strange things when people are grieving. For me, I just try and be there in any way that I can. I clean, support or do whatever it is a person may need. Grieving families, especially if they are large families need paper products such as paper plates, forks, spoons, toilet tissue, trash bags because of the number of people they have coming to their homes. Sometimes people can bring too much food and I know that people have had to give food back to people who brought it because they had too much.

I think it is a great practice to ask people before you come what they really need so you don't waste your money and you can really bless the family. Also try and give some money to them if you can.

[torque63]

on 9/22/2008 I lost both parents in May this year due to a car accident, I dealt with my grief in my own ways, cried a lot at first, then a period of disbelief then acceptance. If you have a spouse that has lost a family member don't judge their grieving process, just be there for them and in the long run you have what you can to help.