How to Fix a Bad Marriage

Fixing a bad marriage only works if both parties want it to work and are willing to put in the time and patience it takes to do so. Often a third party like a marriage counselor is needed to act as a buffer for the couple, and to show them new ways to communicate and settle their differences.The couple needs to first understand what is making their marriage bad. Sometimes when that something is serious like physical or mental abuse time apart may be needed with some professional help. Other times a marriage goes bad because you simple lose the ability to still appreciate and respect one another as people and friends.

Instructions

1. Sit down calmly with your spouse and discuss some ground rules to avoid fights and to keep the lines of communication open. End the discussion before it gets heated, and agree that both of you will return to the table when you are calmer.

2. When talking about your problems with your spouse take care not to word your statement in a way that will put your spouse on the defensive. Instead, start you sentences with " I feel, I hear, I am," not "you are this, or you do that."

3. Find the core of your marriage problem. When you fight about little unimportant things, it's usually something else entirely.

4. Agree to discuss a plan to solve the problem, with both of you helping each other.

5. Go to see a marriage counselor if you find that communication in a civil manner is not possible without a third and neutral party present.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not speak ill of your spouse to others out of anger. What happens is that you and your spouse make up and move on, while the people you complained to are still holding it against them.