How to Be A Gracious House Guest

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By oneloved
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Be A Gracious House Guest

Staying with friends or family this summer? Use these tips to make sure you get invited back!

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Step 1

Only stay where you're invited. This may sound obvious, but sadly, to some friends and family, it's not. Don't show up unannounced, or assume that it's OK to stay without asking first.
Step 2

If you're planning on staying with friends or family in lieu of a hotel during a trip, ask well in advance of your departure so both of you have time to prepare. Make sure your host has a copy of your full itinerary, so they know what to expect.
Step 3

If you plan on visiting other people, going sightseeing, or doing other activities without your hosts during your stay, be sure to let them know in advance. You don't want them to rearrange their schedule to spend time with you, only to find out that you won't be there.
Step 4

Graciously accept any accomodations that are offered, whether it's the couch, floor, or a guest bedroom. If you don't like it, you can spend your own money at a hotel.
Step 5

Ask before using any household items. Don't assume it's OK to throw in a load of laundry or start flipping through TV channels. Ask permission first, and let your host show you how to use everything properly.
Step 6

Ask before using the telephone, and write down every call you make, especially long distance. When the phone bill comes in at the end of the month, ask for your total and reimburse them promptly, or leave cash to cover your calls before you leave.
Step 7

Be mindful of how much time you spend in the bathroom, especially if there are only one or two. Bring your own toiletries, and don't use your host's shampoo or other items without permission. Give fair warning before you get in to the shower, because you don't want to accidentally take someone else's regular slot and make them late.
Step 8

Treat your host's beliefs and customs with respect. For most people, home is where they can safely be themselves without criticism from the outside world. If you disagree with your host's political views, religious beliefs, parenting style, or other views, now is not the time to start a debate. People deserve peace from unwanted teasing or criticism from guests in their own home.
Step 9

If you have kids, supervise them closely. Make sure they don't get into anything they shouldn't, and always treat your host's home and property with respect. Make sure they say "please" and "thank you", and use their manners. (See my article "How to Teach Kids Manners" for more tips.)
Step 10

If your host has children, don't undermine their parenting by criticizing them in front of the kids, offering things or encouraging behavior you know they don't approve of (such as giving them candy or turning on a TV show they're not allowed to watch). That's a sure-fire way to guarantee you won't be invited back.
Step 11

Don't go snooping. Other people's lives and property are none of your business. If you're looking for something you need, like an extra towel, just ask.
Step 12

Stay out of family conflicts. If a marital dispute or child discipline issue pops up while you're there, politely excuse yourself from the room or even the house, if need be, to give them necessary privacy.
Step 13

If you have special needs (like a food allergy), bring what you need to take care of it by yourself. Don't expect your hosts to know how to provide for it.
Step 14

Do what you can to lighten the load while you're there. Wash dishes, take out the trash, or buy groceries to replace what you've eaten. Don't waste water or energy by leaving lights on or letting the water run. You don't want your host to be smacked with a huge bill after you leave.
Step 15

Clean up after yourself. Don't leave your stuff strewn all over the place, and clean up any messes you make. If you're sleeping in a common room, pick up your bedding every morning and put everything out of the way. If you're using someone else's room, stack your stuff neatly in the corner so the original occupant can use their room as needed.
Step 16

Wear appropriate clothing at all times. This might seem like another obvious one, but wandering through the house in your underwear is a guaranteed way to offend.
Step 17

Don't overstay your welcome, or stay indefinitely. Set a date for when your visit will be over, and LEAVE on that date!
Step 18

Take your hosts out to dinner as a way to say thanks, or leave them a thank you gift before you go. Send them a thank you note soon after you leave.