How to Develop a Sense of Humor

Nobody likes an old poop. Developing a sense of humor is part of becoming a mature, emotionally healthy individual. Laughter is good for the soul, builds friendships and relieves stress. It serves as the glue for social situations and as an ice-breaker for grief and oppression. If you've ever been told to "lighten up" or "chill out," you should save the somber attitude for genuinely serious situations and develop your sense of humor.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Forgive the accidental. A pratfall is humorous not because we like to see people stumble and fall, but because it surprises. From a spilled water glass in a meeting to Aunt Rae's teeth coming off in the Thanksgiving turkey, the embarrassment and tension of accidents can be relieved by humor and a helping hand. After making sure that nobody's hurt, forgive accidents with a chuckle rather than a scolding.

2. Look for the unexpected. The kid who used to look at you with his eyes crossed during a test had the idea. When he grew up, he discovered Groucho glasses and wore them when he interviewed prospective employees. Parents who serve green eggs and ham to their children on graduation day get the idea. Unexpected actions lighten an atmosphere and relax people.

3. 

   Relax and listen. Forced humor is not funny, it's awkward and embarrassing. Your friends may feel constrained to smile, but the only laughter you'll hear is from behind your back. Listen to people who are humorous or who tell funny stories and observe the reactions of others. After a while, you'll find yourself laughing, too.

4. Learn to laugh with your kids. Most of what children say and do is funny. Learn how to identify when they intend it to be funny and help them understand why other things may be funny. Help them learn that accidents are sometimes funny and sometimes occasions for pitching in and helping another human being. By sharing laughs and attempting to explain humor, you develop your sense of humor, as well as help kids develop their own sense of humanity.

5. 

   Adopt a child's perspective. Children see things in pretty simple terms, with no subtexts of ego or concern over what other people will think. Some of that freedom is a good thing, particularly if you tend to take yourself too seriously. Use your "child's eye" as a way to sort out what's important from the irrelevant. The irrelevant is generally what's humorous.

Tips & Warnings

• Humor is not the same as "LOL"--laughing out loud--nor does it always reduce everyone to tears of laughter. It's the ability to appreciate the joy and whimsy of a moment. Unlike comedians, who present funny material in a manner that elicits laughter, a humorist helps you understand what's funny and points out the absurdities of life in general.
• Some of the best American humor is based on everyday life and everyday people's lives. Read humor to develop your own sense of it. For American readers, look up Robert Benchley, Erma Bombeck or Garrison Keillor.
• Satire, a particular type of humor, takes on anything from a pompous neighbor to the government. Americans, Brits and Russians are particularly accomplished at it. For American readers, look up Mark Twain, Dorothy Parker or Dave Barry.
• If you've developed a sense of humor, you've learned that humor is gentle and kind. Humor does not capitalize on the misfortunes of others, but finds joy in the foibles of the human condition.

Resources

• Dave Barry's columns on life in general
• Philosophical humor