How to Make a Military Marriage Work

Military marriages aren’t always easy. Time spent apart and the stresses endured during deployments make military marriages different than civilian ones. Spouses have to develop a certain level of independence so they can do what needs to be done when alone, while maintaining the closeness every marriage needs when together. A military marriage takes extra effort on both spouses’ parts to grow and survive. It is possible to have a happy successful military marriage if both parties are willing to do what it takes.

Instructions

1. Make the best of your time together. This is the most important thing to a military marriage. Quite a bit of time spouses in military marriages are apart from each other. Plan romantic interludes, fun activities, and quiet time when you are together. Each one of these is important to any marriage, but even more so to military marriages where stress and worry are common. You both need time to reconnect and just be together without anything else interfering. Enlist friends and family as babysitters to make this happen.

2. Be supportive of your military spouse. Let him know you are proud of him. Don’t cause arguments about things out of his control such as deployments or training assignments. He most likely doesn’t want to leave you and go out in the field but it’s his job.

3. Get involved with military groups and community activities. Getting to know other military wives will help when your husband is deployed, and is a way to have a life outside of your marriage that is all your own. Joining other military spouses in groups is a great support for you. They know exactly what you are going through and the guidance and advice they possess is invaluable.

4. Go shopping, make playdates for the kids, and invite other military families over for dinner. You can’t become so engrossed in his career that you lose sight of yourself. Being your own person is important. After all, he was attracted to you in the beginning and he wouldn’t want you to become just an extension of himself.

5. Set up a plan of action for the times he is away. He will be much more at ease if he knows you have everything under control while he is gone. Knowing that you have help with the children, ways of having time for yourself, and family and friends close, will help him while he’s gone. It will give you peace of mind, too, because you know he is concentrating on the things he should be and not worrying about you and the children back home.

6. Show affection and love at all times. Let each other know you are committed no matter what, and that your love is still strong. Having support and love in dangerous situations can go a long way. Surviving a military marriage takes two strong people who are willing to do whatever it takes. Being true to yourself and each other is the key to making a military marriage work.