How to Set Effective Boundaries For Your Toddler

Hey Mom and Dad! I'm not a baby anymore.

Your cute smiling, loving baby has suddenly turned into a whining, screaming toddler. Confused and unsure of what to do? Here are some guidelines to one of the great hurdles in parenting--setting effective boundaries for your toddler.

Instructions

1. The first clue that your lovely baby has reached the toddler years may be the rapid growth and development of your little one. In a matter of a few months your child goes from crawling to walking to talking to running around and throwing food at you and screaming. It's time to set boundaries with your child, as hard as it may be.

2. Sleep boundaries. Suddenly your child doesn't want to go to bed or stops sleeping through the night. According to the American Society of Pediatrics, to set good sleep boundaries, don't neglect the bedtime routine you've worked hard to establish, such as bath, book, hugs and then bed. Stay on track and if your child wakes in the middle of the night, go into their room, kiss them or tell them softly that you love them and its time for bed and then walk out the door. Let them cry for 15 minutes (some parents may want to do less or more) and then repeat the process. The exception to this is if your child is sick.

3. Screaming for something. When your child hears the word "no," a screaming tantrum can ensue. and if this happens too frequently, it's time to set some boundaries. Say your child wants to get an ice cream cone and you don't have the money or the time. Then they quickly throw a screaming fit. If you give in and buy the ice cream to get them to stop, you are reinforcing the bad behavior. Use your will power and stay consistent by setting boundaries right away. If you can get your child to listen, explain why you are or aren't going to buy the ice cream. If your child isn't listening, then remove them from the area or relocate to a different location to have them calm down before continuing your particular errand. Its not always easy and it will test your patience, but you will set an effective boundary with your child. A negative behavior will result in positive outcome.

4. You will be tested in other areas as well, such as food choices and interactions with friends or others at daycare or the park or zoo. The next time you visit a store and your child asks for a toy or ice cream remember your boundaries you are setting and if you say no and your child responds negatively, be consistent. If your child doesn't cry or throw a tantrum, reward your child with lots of positive reinforcement, whether through verbal praise or hugs or kisses. This does not mean get them the ice cream or the toy. Positive reinforment goes a long way in telling your child how proud you are of them. This in turn will raise self-esteem and promote positive behavior in the future.

5. Many people say that when their child is off at daycare or a friend's house or with grandma they sink right back to being a toddler because there aren't boundaries set at these particular places. This is where the going gets tough. Many parents may not be comfortable telling their day care provider how to set boundaries but you should be comfortable to let other caregivers and close family members who may watch your child for extended periods of time know that your child is going through their toddler phase and may try out these behaviors on them. Let them know how you are handling the situations and that they have your blessing to say no to the toddler as well. It may not be easy for them but some may be comfortable extending the boundaries to their care as well.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember to be consistent. Write it down if you have to.