How to Forgive

Forgive and forget, let go and lighten your load. A grudge can be a heavy weight to bear.

Difficulty: Moderately challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Anger-management Counseling
• Stress Relief Products
• Relaxation Tapes

1. Think about what happened.

2. Acknowledge all of your feelings. There is often anger lurking behind any hurt or sadness you might feel.

3. Express your feelings - write them out, talk to a friend or simply allow yourself to feel what you feel.

4. Accept responsibility for your own emotions. Although you were wronged and your emotions may be justified, it is still up to you to decide when you're ready to stop feeling angry or upset.

5. Talk to the other person about the behavior that upset you and how it made you feel. The odds are that you won't feel truly ready to forgive until you know this person has heard and understood your perspective.

6. Try to understand the other person's perspective, even if you don't really agree with it.

7. Rebuild trust in the relationship. Make agreements about acceptable future behavior whenever appropriate.

8. Make the decision to forgive, and communicate your forgiveness to the other person. Once you've done this, make every effort to move on and let it go completely.

Tips & Warnings

• You can forgive someone without condoning his or her behavior; forgiveness isn't the same thing as approval.
• Avoid a defensive reaction by first venting your emotions outside the presence of the wrongdoer - this will help the interaction to be more productive.
• Wait until you are truly ready to forgive. Respect your feelings and take all the time you need.

[kitsune0216]

on 5/1/2009 forgiveness will always make you feeL better, and God Loves you for forgiving others no matter what they had caused you! you forgive for yourseLf and not for the sake of others.. =,)

[ashiflett]

on 3/30/2009 Excellent information! Thanks for sharing it with us!

[JoanneJ]

on 1/11/2009 Even if you forgive the person who wronged you, if they do not accept your forgiveness, you've still have done all you can do. Until, and unless, the offender comes to the realization that the relationship is more important than the offense there will be no reconciliation. However, your forgiveness enables you to continue on your pathway without guilt.

[writergirl74]

on 12/28/2008 Forgiving is a decision...period. End of story. You cannot change what has happened so now you can choose to let the situation hang on to you and continue to add negativity to your life. Unforgiveness can bring on sickness and depression as well. Everytime I can I CHOOSE to forgive.

[lrpcountrychic]

on 12/24/2008 how do you forgive someone that hid a friendship with someone and when asked they lie about it. if it was truely just a friendship then why lie a bout it?