How to Tell If Your Guy Is Lying
When you feel like you are being deceived, it can bring your whole relationship into question. It's never easy to be with someone if you believe they aren't being honest with you, and it's especially hard if you can't prove it. You might never find any conclusive evidence that proves your guy to be liar. You may never catch him red-handed. Still, there are ways to tell if he is lying. Lie detection is not a hard science and it's difficult to accurately tell if someone is lying to you without a polygraph handy, but if you know what to look for, you might be able to uncover the truth after all.
Other People Are Reading
Instructions
-
-
1
Listen to how he speaks. According to UCLA psychology professor, R. Edward Geiselman, whose team analyzed over 60 studies dealing with lie detection, speech is a crucial indicator of deception. "Guilty" people often speak in sentence-fragments when confronted. They usually start an answer, then back up and do not complete the sentence. Also, watch for erratic and inconsistent talking speed. Deceptive people typically think that slowing down their speech looks suspicious, so they speak slowly only while crafting their story, then speak faster once they get it down. Truthful people, in contrast, don't generally alter their speech rate very much, because they're not concerned with how fast or slowly they are speaking.
-
2
Listen to what he says. You might suppose your guy will try to invent an elaborate story on the spot that you'll be able to see through easily. Chances are, however, he won't make it so simple for you. People caught lying generally prefer to say as little as possible when confronted, so they don't trap themselves in a lie. They also keep things fairly vague. It's easier to omit facts than to lie directly about them, so in a confrontation, it's up to you to ask the right questions to keep him talking.
-
-
3
Keep a close eye on his body language during conversation. You might think your guy is a liar if he doesn't look you in the eye, but in actuality, honest people tend to look away when thinking about a question that requires concentration. According to the 60 studies that UCLA analyzed, it's the liars who rarely look away from you. Dishonest people are also likely to engage in "grooming" behaviors like playing with hair or picking at fingernails. They are also more likely to gesture toward themselves more often, whereas truthful people tend to gesture outwardly toward the speaker.
-
4
Ask him to repeat his story backwards. Tell him to start at the end and work his way to the beginning. This is a method some psychologists use to determine how well someone actually knows their story. Telling tales requires a lot of concentration, and telling one backwards no doubt requires even more.
-
5
Consider how your guy typically acts. You can stress out about speech cadence, eye movement, and body language until your suspicion drives you crazy, but these methods don't always tell the whole story. You might even be looking for things that just aren't there. The truth is that you know your guy best. If he's acting strangely and not like himself, and you believe it's because he's keeping something from you, let him know exactly that. Open a healthy dialogue, and always consider how he usually behaves as you gauge his reactions to your questions. That may just tell you all you need to know.
-
1
Tips & Warnings
Guilty people tend to repeat the questions they are asked before answering.
Lie detection methods can do damage in the hands of people who aren't trained to use them. Don't make a bad situation worse by misreading the signs. Tread carefully.
References
Resources
- Photo Credit Jupiterimages/Photos.com/Getty Images
