How to Be a Bridesmaid

Whether the bride is an old schoolmate, a favorite new friend, a trusted sister or your brother's fiancée, be honored that she has asked you to share in this joyous - and hectic - time in her life.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Bridesmaid Dresses
• Evening Gloves
• Hair Accessories
• Hosiery
• Women's Closed-toed Shoes
• Women's Dress Shoes
• Makeup Kits
• Perfume
• Bracelets
• Diamond Earrings

1. Let the bride know you feel privileged to be chosen as a bridesmaid. She will appreciate your enthusiasm

2. Offer to help the bride and maid of honor with any tasks they'll be facing prior to the big day. This could include housing out-of-town guests.

3. Coordinate a shower - or assist the maid of honor in doing so - to be held for the couple or the bride.

4. Keep in mind that your bridesmaid dress is part of the big picture - if you are not crazy about the material or design, keep it to yourself. It is your responsibility to pay for the dress, shoes and lingerie.

5. Attend as many prenuptial events as you can - and give the bride one less thing to worry about by being punctual.

6. Contribute to the bridesmaids' gift to the bride, in addition to your own.

7. Pack an emergency kit for the bride for the wedding day: bobby pins, safety pins, hair spray, hair dryer - anything she may forget to bring and can't live without.

8. Be ready to fill in doing odd jobs, such as serving as an impromptu seamstress if the need should arise.

9. Jump-start the party - dance with the groomsmen and bring other guests onto the floor.

10. Mingle and help everyone feel comfortable.

11. Toast the newlyweds at the reception, alone or with another bridesmaid.

Tips & Warnings

• Be sensitive to the bride's wishes, if and when you throw a bachelorette party. Remember, it is your friend's wedding and you'll want to respect her desires.
• Save a roast for the bachelorette party and give a more formal toast at the wedding.
• Budget your expenses for the months to come. The costs for parties, meals and clothes may add up to more than you expect.

[fruitloop]

on 9/30/2009 A courteous bride remembers that it ceases to be "her day" once she chooses to involve others - which she does by selecting a wedding party, and inviting guests.

She should ask what the maids are prepared to spend, and select dress styles in that range.

Dictating shoes (think of the last ten weddings you attended. Do you remember what the maids had on their feet? Nobody else will, either), jewelry, makeup and hair is micromanaging to the nth degree.

Planning the wedding and all work thereto is the job of the bride and her fiance. If the wedding party offers to help, that's great - but they are not unpaid staff.

[sarahjean]

on 7/20/2009 Good idea about the emergency kit!!! i will use that this coming september. I liked the one about getting people to dance. Your right! we should be the ones to start the party!!

[kellyanne]

on 1/3/2007 It's tough to say no. I have had a friend cut me out of her life because I said I couldn't afford the financial commitment. How can you say no, but still stay on your friend's good graces - tactfully?

on 6/30/2006 Remember, be the bridesmaid or maid of honor you yourself would want to have in your own bridal party. That's the best way to think about it. If you would want a "Yes" man as your bridesmaid (and I think you would), then be a "Yes" man and do what the bride desires.

on 11/22/2005 It's the brides day - you are there as her support crew. Do whatever you can to make it as easy as possible for her. Tell her you like the dress (whatever it may be), be friendly to her in-laws and her parents, go along with plans for the day (or any other events). Be flexible and open-minded. Remember that it's her special day!