How to Deal With Intrusive, Needy Mother-in-laws
Marriage is not only the joining of two people, it is the joining of two families. In some cases, it is a seamless merge and everyone gets along great. Often times, however, dealing with your spouse's parents isn't quite a walk in the park. This is especially true when dealing with intrusive, needy mother-in-laws. Learn how to deal with the situation without letting it negatively impact your marriage.
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Instructions
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Keep marital issues between you and your spouse. Don't vent to your mothers about fights or disagreements. That is inviting them into your marriage in a way you and your spouse may not be comfortable with.
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Communicate with your spouse. Set expectations ahead of time so that you will both be on the same page. If your mother-in-law springs something on you unexpectedly, always tell her you will have to speak with your spouse before making a decision.
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Set clear and firm boundaries with your mother-in-law and stick to them. For example, if she persists on stopping by without calling first, don't answer the door. If you do answer, let her know you are unavailable for a visit at this time and schedule a future visit.
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Let the person with the primary relationship (her son or daughter) deal with their own parents. This shows your mother-in-law that you support your spouse.
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Limit your time with your mother-in-law if you are feeling worn out by her games. It is OK to decline to accompany your spouse on a visit every once in a while.
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Vent to someone other than your spouse about your mother-in-law. Even though she may be annoying, she is still his mother. Try not to criticize or demean her to her child.
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Pick your battles. Decide what things you can let slide or ignore and what you cannot. It will mean a lot to your spouse to see you compromise and work hard on your end to improve the relationship.
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Tips & Warnings
Don't let issues build up until you blow up. If something your mother-in-law does really bothers you, speak up. She may not realize that she is upsetting you.
