How to Cope With Your Chronically Ill Child

One of the hardest parts of parenting a child with a chronic health problem, or disability, is not so much the health problem or the disability, it is the chronicity. It never goes away and that is hard. Thankfully, there are ways to cope.

Instructions

1. Recognize that you have suffered a loss, even as you are coping with your child's health problem or disability. No parent wants her child to be chronically sick or disabled, but you (and your child) are faced with it every day. It is natural, and perfectly acceptable, to grieve for what you lost: A healthy child without a chronic problem.

2. Be prepared to be blessed. Most parents who are confronted with a chronically ill or disabled children will tell you that, despite everything, they are blessed to be the parents of their child, health issues and all. It doesn't matter how difficult or how chronic the problem is, children are gifts to their parents.

3. Grow. Being the parent of a child suffering with a chronic illness will force you to grow up. You will be challenged to do things that you didn't think possible. It may not always be fun, and there will be tears, but your character and your stamina will expand. In the end, you will say that you are more patient and kinder because of the parenting that you did. Suddenly, you will really understand what it means not to sweat the small stuff.

4. Expect the difficulties and the hard times. Even while caring for a child who has chronic health problems, and even though your life is harder than most other parents you know, you will develop a routine and structure that allows you to cope with your days. And though you may have a disproportionate number of hard days, not every day will be horribly difficult. For every season of difficult days, you can look to the future which will undoubtedly hold a season of days that are only normally difficult. And that is a good thing.

5. Take a break. It seems impossible because it seems as though you are the only one who can properly care for your child who is chronically ill or disabled. But, in order to stay fresh and helpful for your child, you must force yourself to find ways to take a break. Hire a nurse, find state supported respite, or ask a trusted friend. But, no matter what, find a way to give yourself a break every once in a while.

6. Spend time with your spouse and with your other children. These relationships, though not as demanding, are as valuable as the relationship you have with your chronically ill child. Don't neglect one for the other.

7. Get support. Find a support group where you can air your frustrations and share your difficulties. Your support may come from an actual support group, your church, or it may be just be a couple of close friends. Know where your real support lies and, when you need help, get it from the people who truly understand you.