How to Be Nice to Someone Who Hates You

You Can Break Through

Occasionally, through no fault of your own, someone decides they don't like you. They may even go out of their way to sabotage your every effort, and actively work at making you uncomfortable and miserable. Do you have to follow their lead down a dark path of hatred? No. Here's how to take the high road and possibly turn them around.

Things You'll Need

• Patience
• Insight
• A generous spirit

Instructions

Oh, you hate me? I hadn't noticed.

1. 

   Rather than reacting to a hateful person, go on about your day as if you didn't notice their offense. When a call comes in for them, smile sweetly and say "Angie dear, the phone's for you. Can you take this or should I take a message?" Don't give them the satisfaction of thinking that you care about their dislike for you. Treat them with the same respect and warmth you do the people who adore you.

2. 

   Random acts of kindness can melt the iciest heart.If you hear your enemy sniffle, buy them some cough drops and tissues. If you know they love Starbucks, bring them a latte in the morning. Some people are hateful because they have had bad experiences with people in the past. They use anger as a defense mechanism to keep others away. Don't *tell* them you are different, *show* them you're different by your actions.

3. Ask them about their life.To quote Zig Ziglar, "Every obnoxious act is a cry for help." Assume the hateful person is hateful for a reason. I once worked with a woman who was cruel to everyone in the office. After months of patience, we finally penetrated her walls to discover she had been severely abused as a child. She had been incredibly wounded, and in turn, wounded others. After she discovered we were serious about winning her friendship, she stopped hating everyone. As you can imagine, this made for a much happier workplace.

4. If you try to turn them around and don't succeed, let it go.You can co-exist with a hateful person if you must. The trick is to make healthy choices on your part. When they snap at you, don't snap back. Try to be at peace with everyone.

Tips & Warnings

• If someone hates you because you actually offended or hurt them, ask for forgiveness and make every effort to make things right.

• Don't allow someone else's anger influence you.

• Hatred is their problem, don't let it become yours.

• Don't join with others in a 'lynch mob' mentality against a hateful person. Promote peaceful solutions.

Resources

• Read this Article in Spanish