Things You'll Need:
- Time to listen to your child
- An open rapport with school administrators and teachers
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Step 1
Understand what bullying is and make sure your child understands what it means. Experts define bullying as intentionally tormenting someone in verbal, physical or even psychological ways. Let your child know that bullies do more than just hit or push. Sometimes they take your lunch money, other times they say things that scare you, or they might even tell other people mean things that aren't true. Be sure your child understands the difference between bullying and simple personality differences as well -- someone saying they don't want to play with you isn't bullying, but someone telling everyone else not to play with you definitely crosses the line.
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Step 2
Know the signs of bullying. Unless your child comes home with a black eye or bruises, it's often hard to tell that there's a problem. Watch for red flags in the child's personality, such as changes in sleep or eating patterns, a lack of interest in things he once enjoyed, or avoidance of certain situations. For example, a child who gets bullied on the bus may suddenly start missing the bus, even though you're sure he left the house on time. You may get a call from the school nurse, telling you your daughter always has a mysterious stomach ache around second period. If you suspect bullying, talk to your child, and let her know that it's important for her to tell you what's happening. Explain that there is a big difference between reporting and "tattling".
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Step 3
Make sure your child understands that being a victim isn't his fault. Your son may feel that if he were more athletic he wouldn’t get beaten up, or you daughter might think the mean girls would leave her alone if she were prettier. Let them know that the problem lies with the bullies, not with the victims. Praise your child for telling you about what's happening, and let her know that coming forward can probably help other kids who are being victimized.
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Step 4
Teach your child ways to avoid the bullying situation. Explain that they can use a different restroom than the bully to avoid getting cornered. Suggest the child use a buddy system in the hallway, so there's always someone else around. Just as importantly, teach the child not to react with anger or tears. Typically, once a bully realizes he's not upsetting the victim, he'll stop tormenting them. Many kids have found it helpful to pretend the bully is invisible. This takes some practice, though, so you may even want to try some role-playing at home, with the child taking the part of the "bully" and you being the "victim".
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Step 5
Address the situation with school administrators. Don't assume things will work out on their own. Get teachers and principals involved. If a bully is picking on your child, chances are that he is picking on other children as well. Be your child's advocate and teach him how to deal with bullies, and eventually the bully will have no power over him.
