How to Stop Being Mean

If people around you have friends and you don't, maybe it's time to evaluate why and stop your negative behavior. Perhaps you've heard rumors that you are mean and you want to change so you can develop friendships. Congratulations, you have identified this fault in yourself and that's the hardest step. Now you're ready to take some action to get that mean streak out of you and start being nicer.

Instructions

1. Consider the way you act when others are around you. If you frown a lot and glare at them, it's time to stop. Relax your face and show some pearly whites to let them know you want them around.

2. Ask others for help when you need it. This shows that you value their input and don't think of yourself as being better than they are.

3. Offer to help others when you see them struggling, but be careful not to be pushy or to make negative comments about the predicament they're in. It might help to share an episode similar to theirs where you needed help.

4. Count to 100 when you're about to lose your cool. It happens, and you've heard the counting trick before, but that's because it really works. Stop and consider the consequences if you blow your stack and decide if it's worth it.

5. Keep your hands off people, even in jest. Even if you're joking around, your actions might be considered mean based on your prior reputation. Watch who you hang out with. If you spend your time with friends who are being bullies, your reputation is linked with theirs.

6. Make deliberate nice gestures, defending those who are weaker than you. Be careful not to act like a "goody two-shoes," but stand up for yourself and others when a kind act is called for.

7. Find an accountability partner--someone who encourages you to be nice and stands by your side ready to support and guide you if you temporarily slip back into your mean ways.