How to Help Someone Leave a Religious Cult

It is surprisingly easy for people to become involved in religious cults. There are a variety of scenarios that can account for the additions in memberships in these groups. One can be born into religious cult or brought into one as a child while others make the decision to join as adults. While members, few acknowledge the group as a cult despite the oppression and mind-control techniques employed. Religious cults attract all types of people, including the brightest, most educated and successful. Anyone can be targeted and lured into these dangerous groups. Helping someone leave a religious cult can be a difficult and even harrowing experience but is worth the effort.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Identify positively that your loved one belongs to an actual cult by learning the warning signs of such involvement. Look for evidence of brainwashing into a particular doctrine which leaves no room for other beliefs, note efforts by the group to prevent your family member or friend from interacting with others he knew before his involvement with the sect, watch for concentrated attendance at group meetings several times a week and daily contact with group members as well as a too narrow focus on the group's goals and beliefs. During the initial period of involvement, you will notice the target being "love bombed" and presented with what appears to be a Utopian environment. Look for this atmosphere to quickly change to one of control and oppression of individual identity once the person had become thoroughly indoctrinated.

2. Communicate as often with the person involved in the sect as possible. Many religious cults will quickly try to isolate the new member from contact with those outside the group, so you must act quickly. If you can keep communication going with the person, you will be much more likely to succeed in eventually getting them to leave the group. If the person is reluctant to see you in person or speak with you on the phone, try letters and text messaging and email if he utilizes the internet.

3. Amass as much information as possible about the group your loved one is involved with. Find out about the cult's origins, its method of operation and how it funds itself, as well as what former members say about it and what the sect teaches its members. Most of this information can be gathered online and from various library sources. Chances are you will discover much information that is not generally given to group members by the leaders. This evidence of deceit can be very effective when you present it to the group member. Try to approach him with it as soon as possible, but do not hesitate even if he has been a member for a long period of time. If he refuses to look at the information, challenge him as to the strength of his faith in the face of the documentation. Ask him if his beliefs are strong enough to allow him to view oppositional information. Never give him false information and be ready to back up your presentation with reliable sources.

4. Prepare for an intervention. Gather friends and family together and have everyone prepare what they wish to say to the loved one. Get her to meet with you without other members of the cult accompanying her. Insist that this is important and persist in asking if she initially turns you down. Once she meets you, reassure her that you all love and support her and simply want her to listen to what you have to say. Encourage her to stay but do not bar her from leaving if she is adamant. Bring in a professional psychologist or therapist if possible.

5. Elicit the aid of an exit counselor. It is especially helpful if you find one who is experienced in helping with exits from the particular cult you are dealing with. If the exit counselor is a former member of the group, so much the better. Before hiring an exit counselor, make sure you are amenable to his methods and know exactly how the situation will be approached. Be aware that certain exit specialists have been known to use techniques that may be considered kidnapping in a court of law. Think carefully about any action the exit counselor recommends for helping to extradite the person from the cult.

Tips & Warnings

• Confront your loved one as soon as you suspect if he may be involved with a cult with your suspicions rather than waiting for him to see it for himself.
• Be watchful for movement of the cult. Religious sects often relocate members to different cities, states or even other countries in an effort to isolate them from their former lives and increase their dependence on the cult.

[junes1022]

on 9/3/2008 I'm a former cult member, and I agree with most of the advice in this article. However, there is one point upon which I disagree, and because of eHow's visibility, I feel compelled to comment.

Confronting a cult member with negative information about their group can seriously backfire. Chances are their group has warned them of the dangers outsiders pose. They may also resent you for questioning their judgment. Most important, they probably feel that their leader or group really "understands" them like no one else ever has. The only way to compete with this fake "understanding" is to offer the real thing.

Instead, ask them why they joined the group. Gently probe until you get to the emotional needs and personal issues for which they seek answers. Then take these needs and issues one at a time and explore whether the group really provides the answers it promises. If you can