How to Set Boundaries with an Alcoholic Sibling

An alcoholic sibling is someone you know well from childhood, who grew up closely with you, and who knows you through and through. This is the perfect relationship for a practicing alcoholic to abuse and manipulate, because it is steeped in love and tight bonds. A family member will take on a lot of an alcoholic's problems before finally reaching a breaking point, and this is why alcoholism thrives unchecked for so long before being challenged. If you protect yourself, you force the alcoholic to abandon relying on you, which is a positive step toward her possible recovery. Most importantly, you will be free to live a happier life and leave her free to live whatever life she chooses.

Instructions

1. Since your sibling is anesthetized with alcohol, don't worry about him when setting your boundaries. You do what you have to do to make your life as beautiful and stress-free as it deserves to be.

2. Stop being available for the alcoholic to abuse. Don't lend money, valuables, cars, time or pity on the alcoholic. Don't lie or cover up for her.

3. Tell the alcoholic you don't want to be around him anymore because his drinking has deteriorated your relationship with him. You love the alcoholic, but you can't handle the drinking anymore. If he gets sober and joins a program like Alcoholics Anonymous, you will be glad to consider returning to his life.

4. If the alcoholic continues to call you, keep saying no. You have other things to do. You don't have to be mean, just realistic. Would you rather spend hours on the phone with an alcoholic, or go out for a chocolate milkshake with your kids? If the calls upset you, consider cutting off the alcoholic completely for a while. Detach with empathy. You will have time to do something nice for yourself. Lie outside in the sunshine. Read poetry. Take a new class, make a new friend. Laugh.

5. Join Alanon to learn how to stay strong and focused on your own life. This is actually a gift to yourself and the alcoholic. You taking care of yourself is a living example that the alcoholic can choose to follow if she ever decides to battle her addiction.