How to Help a Friend With a Broken Heart

Just about everyone has experienced something deeply painful: a break-up, a divorce, the death of a loved one, a move or the loss of a pet. It's helpful when the person going through such a difficult time has a support system. Even though you may have had a similar experience, you're bound to be at a loss for words when it's your friend who has the broken heart. Here is how you can help.

Instructions

1. Ask your friend to tell her story. The pain and hurt your friend feels will only build if she can't share her feelings with a trusted friend. Let her know you're willing to listen to her experience so she doesn't feel so alone.

2. Practice patience. Getting over a broken heart takes each person a different amount of time. You may have experienced a similar situation and felt ready to move on in a matter of weeks, but your friend may require more time.

3. Allow your friend his feelings. Saying things like "These things take time," or "She's not worth it," will only make your friend feel like he shouldn't be in pain. If you make him feel silly for feeling this way, he won't want to confide in you again.

4. Boost her self-esteem. As your friend deals with her broken heart, take every opportunity to remind her of all her wonderful qualities. Tell her what a great friend she is to you and how important your friendship is.

5. Keep your advice to yourself. Your natural instinct is probably to tell your friend how to go about getting over his pain, especially if you've experienced a similar loss. The fact is, every loss is different, so don't offer any advice or anecdotes unless asked.

6. Offer distractions. Your friend may enjoy a trip to the mall, a night out at the movies or attending a football game. The important thing to remember is to not push your friend; just make suggestions to get her mind off her broken heart for a few hours.

7. Expect mood swings. Just because you've managed to get him out of the house for a little while doesn't mean the pain's disappeared. Chances are good that your friend will be smiling one minute and crying the next.

Tips & Warnings

• Recognize when the problem is too big for you to handle, and call in a professional if necessary.

• Avoid suggesting drugs or alcohol to solve the problem; they would only add to it.