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Step 1
Make a list of the reasons that you do not trust the other person. View the list objectively and determine if the reasons are speculation or if the issues that caused you to lose trust were supported by facts.
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Step 2
Assess the severity of the trust issues and the effect that the loss of trust has had on the relationship. Consider if there have been other times when this person has caused you to lose trust. Decide if the situation warrants forgiving the offender and working towards regaining trust.
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Step 3
Talk to the person that has lost your trust. Let him know why. Explain to him what you need from him to be able to regain trust in him again.
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Step 4
Accept an apology if that is all you feel the need for from the person to be able to forgive her. In some cases an apology is not what it is needed. You may need to ask the person to come up with a solution that prevents a repeat of the trust breaking in the future. You might also feel the need to ask for promises of future behavior, even though at the moment you feel you can not trust the promises.
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Step 5
Explain to the person you are trying to regain trust in to expect it to take time for you to be able to trust him again.
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Step 6
Forgive her for breaking your trust and causing you pain. After telling the person they are forgiven, reflect it in your actions. Treat him as you would treat someone who has not broken your trust. This is hard to do at first, but show the forgiveness outwardly in your dealings with him and eventually you begin to feel the forgiveness in your heart. This does not mean you forget the hurt, you just forgive it.
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Step 7
Allow yourself time to heal from the pain. If the person does not break your trust again, as time passes your comfort level with trusting her increases. If however, you regain trust and then it is shattered again, the ability to regain trust in her gets more difficult each time.
