How to Look and Act Like a Guy

There are two types of males in the world. One is a man. He is responsible, trustworthy, kind and strong among many other fine traits. The other is a guy. He just refuses to grow up and cannot be trusted with a grocery list much less anything important. If a person wants to act like the later here are a few tips and tricks.

Things You'll Need

• Hat
• Three pairs of shoes
• A mountain of flannel and t-shirts

Instructions

1. Make loud noises. Burps and farts are the preferred loud noises but any will do. Guys just like to yell. They yell at both friends and enemies. They yell when they are happy and sad. The louder things are the better.

2. Scratch yourself a lot and sometimes in not the most socially acceptable place. The butt and are crotch are prime scratching grounds. Again really, any area on their person will suffice.

3. Come up with a few witty comments and write them down. Then use them every time you attempt some form of humor. A favorite one for guys is "That's what she said," just be sure to use it every single chance you get.

4. Complain constantly about your significant other. Anytime guys are in a relationship they do everything in their power to downgrade the other in that relationship with them.

5. Wear a lot of flannel and t-shirts. Your wardrobe should consist of mainly earth tones as well. Wear nothing bright or stylish because this might damage your reputation as a guy.

6. Have only three pair of shoes and wear them until they disintegrate. The first is your athletic shoe. The second is your dress shoe. Finally, the third is your work shoes. Those are the only shoes you can own and when one evaporates, you must replace it with the exact same brand and model of shoe.

7. Sport the same beat-up baseball cap from high school until you retire. By the end of its life cycle, the hat should have its own ecosystem inside it.