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Step 1
Decide if you want to stay married to your spouse. If you are unable to tackle that question, there's little that you can do to repair your marriage. However, if you still do love your spouse, but have simply allowed your relationship to drift away, there's plenty you two can do to make things more like they used to be.
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Step 2
Tell your spouse that you are concerned about your marriage and see if that person shares your feelings. Your spouse may not even realize there is a problem, let alone that you are concerned about it. Maybe that is all that is necessary for the two of you to agree on putting your relationship back together.
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Step 3
Don't expect your spouse to make all the changes because, the chances are you are as much at fault for the deterioration of your marriage as that person is.
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Step 4
Have a totally honest discussion with your spouse and agree on a game plan for improvement. Agree on the changes each of you would like to make and encourage feedback on how those changes are being made. Not only should you begin to see improvements, but it will validate the commitment each of you has made to improve.
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Step 5
Be spontaneous. Doing the unexpected is a true measure of feelings. All too often, when two people have been married for a long time, they take each other for granted. And contrary to conventional wisdom, it affects wives and husbands alike.
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Step 6
Avoid taking out your frustrations on your spouse. You may think that since the two of you have been married for so long, your abuse will not affect the relationship you share. That's not true; and each time it occurs, it makes the two of you drift further apart.
When you've had a particularly difficult day, take some time alone to reflect on how it has affected you. Then quietly share your problem with your spouse as if it were of concern to that person, because it should be. If appropriate, see if the two of you can work out a solution. That is terrific therapy, and will undoubtedly bring the two of you closer together.
