How to Ditch a Frenemy

Have a person in your life who is not dependable enough to be trusted as a friend, but not malicious enough to be classified as a foe? If so, you just might have a frenemy in your midst. Relationships with frenemies can be dramatic, draining and confusing, wrought with stifled feelings, passive-aggressive interactions and tons of guilt. May these tips help you cut ties with your frenemy as painlessly as possible--so you can stop the insanity once and for all.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Get clear. Do you want to loose this person from your life completely or simply put a lager buffer around your relationship? Sometimes frenemies can be turned into friends. Other times attempts to at such relationship repositioning are futile.
2. Affirm what you deserve. You deserve peace, joy and respect within your relationships. You deserve friendships that are clear and dependable. You deserve to be inspired, uplifted, motivated and encouraged. You deserve to give and receive love. You deserve to rid your life of people who bring out the worst in you.
3. Summon bravery. It can be daunting to break old patterns, end lifeless relationships and expose yourself to the unknown. Trust that you can do it. You are brave and strong.
4. Let honesty reign. Stop making accommodations for behavior that demoralizes, embarrasses or just downright angers you. If you his jokes are tasteless, stop laughing. If you find her comments hurtful, stick up for yourself. Frenemiships flourish in dishonest, suppressed environments. If you want to rid yourself of this toxic relationship, you must be straight with your emotions.
5. Be aloof. Don't return phone calls. Stop getting caught up in the details of your frenemy's life. Keep your responses neutral and slightly cool. Begin creating distance by pulling back the amount of emotional and physical energy you put into this relationship.
6. Save the drama for your mama. Stay out of the ring. Hold back the insulting jabs. Keep your inner gossipmonger under lock and key. Just because you're ready to end this relationship, doesn't mean you need to build a fighting case against your frenemy. Let things end quietly.
7. Squash guilt. Sometimes relationships flourish, sometimes they deteriorate. We aren't meant to be BFF with everybody. Chances are that if you're ready to break ties with your frenemy, then your frenemy is probably feeling the same. No need to lay a guilt trip on yourself. And no need to lay blame on your frenemy either.
8. Honor what the relationship taught and brought you. You got something from this relationship no doubt. Acknowledge what you've learned and vow to take those lessons into the future.
9. Open yourself to new possibilities. When you eliminate an unhealthy relationship you create the emotional and physical space needed to build a new, healthier relationship. Keep your eyes and heart open, awaiting your new beginning.