How to Cope With Being Friendless


As society becomes more fragmented, increasingly more people are finding themselves without any close friends. People in this situation can best cope by trying to make new friends, and understanding how their thoughts and behaviors may be keeping them among the lonely crowd.

Consistency Is Key

  • It is easiest to make new friends when you consistently see the same people day after day. Think back over the times in your life when you had friends -- most likely you were spending lots of time with the same people. It also helps if these individuals share your values, beliefs and interests. Use this information to nurture new friendships, by signing up for a course or class that interests you and that will have you meeting with the same people regularly over an extended period of time, recommends psychologist Daniel J. Tomasulo, in the Psych Central article "Friendless and Alone." For example, you might join a book club, take an acting class or participate in a co-ed volleyball league. Activities that are fun or that require you to get to know each other will make it easiest to make new friends.

Get Personal

  • If you find that you have lots of acquaintances, but they never become good friends, consider sharing more about yourself as a way to develop friendships, as suggested in the American Psychological Association article "Friends Wanted." Expand the depth of the questions you ask others, as you gradually get to know them. For example, as you get to know someone better, you might gradually move from "What are your favorite hobbies?" to "What is the one thing in life that scares you the most, but you wish that you could do?" In addition, be sure to gradually share more personal information about yourself, so that the other person doesn't feel like it is an interrogation.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

  • Loneliness is a subjective experience that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, asserts the American Psychological Association. Individuals without friends who succumb to loneliness can gradually become cold, awkward and unfriendly in the eyes of others -- simply because they are acting out of self-preservation. While it is natural to become bitter or to shut others out when you feel alone, try doing the opposite to shift your mental state and reduce negative thoughts. Share something positive about your day with another person, to move the focus away from your own feelings of loneliness and toward thinking and caring about others.

Identify the Root Cause

  • If a lack of friendships has been a pattern in your life, it may be worthwhile to talk to a therapist to identify possible causes of your inability to make or keep friends, notes psychologist and psychiatry professor Irene S. Levine, in the "Psychology Today" online article "Why Would Someone Have NO Friends?" Possible causes of being friendless include insecurity or lack of trust, shyness or introversion, fears of intimacy, lack of social skills, situational obstacles such as moving frequently, mental or physical disabilities, and personality issues such as being overly needy, pushy, controlling or independent. Even one or two sessions with a therapist might be enough to pinpoint potential obstacles standing in the way of you making and keeping friends.


  • Photo Credit Rayes/Digital Vision/Getty Images
Promoted By Zergnet


You May Also Like

  • How to Deal With Being a Loner

    If you're a loner, you may have a difficult time making friends or interacting with others in social situations. You may also...

  • How to Cope With Loneliness

    How to Deal with Loneliness. Being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely. You can be happy, productive, ... How to Cope...

  • How to Stop Being Immature

    Reflect on these later and ask other adults to help you solve issues so that your next confrontation will be managed in...

  • What to Do When Bored?

    If you're less than enthralled with your day, or just have some time to kill, you may be looking for things to...

  • How to Work Through Feelings of Social Isolation

    In our modern world--we have a plethora of options for communication. You can ring, ping, email, fax, text, post, comment, tweet, myspace,...

  • How to Be a Loner

    Being a loner is a common desire, but like any lifestyle choice, there are different ways to go about it, ... How...

  • How to Act When Pulled Over

    There are a few important ways you should act when you're pulled over by the police. Learn about them in this free...

  • How to Stop Being Broke

    How to Cope With Being Friendless. Maybe you are an introvert and find it difficult to build relationships. ... How to Survive...

  • Reasons for Feeling Light Headed

    Lightheadedness can be caused by a variety of conditions. It is a fainting or dizzy sensation primarily caused by a decrease in...

Related Searches

Read Article

What is Motherhood? 12 Women Lay Their Hearts on Their Sleeves

Is DIY in your DNA? Become part of our maker community.
Submit Your Work!