Things You'll Need:
- Quick wit
- The ability to NOT take things personal
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Step 1
First, let's explore exactly what a classy insult is. Have you ever heard something that made you think twice? Something so witty and well crafted that you were awestruck by its brilliance?
Consider what William Faulkner once said about Ernest Hemingway.
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
Hemingway's response:
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
The return insult is a direct hit. It's condescending. Not only does it one-up Faulkner, it also makes him appear arrogant without ever coming out and saying as much. Rather than attacking with emotion, Hemingway responds with something personal that takes the heat off of himself and puts it back on the other person. -
Step 2
Now that you know what a classy insult is, let's explore the art of exploiting the source.
In the example below, George Bernard Shaw slams Winston Churchill in a handwritten note.
"Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend - if you have one."
Churchill brilliantly responds with a punchline as completely appropriate to the insult as one can possibly get. It reflects on the source - on Shaw's ability to bring down the house with his work.
"Impossible to be present for the first performance. Will attend second - if there is one." -
Step 3
Sometimes insults aren't as playful. In this example, notice how Churchill considers the source of an insult hurled his direction, then fires back with something even stronger.
"If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee." (Lady Astor)
"If you were my wife, I'd drink it." (Churchill)
See how easy that was? One can almost imagine Lady Astor's white-gloved hand going to her lips to accentuate her surprised gasp! -
Step 4
When you deliver your insult, be sure to mix good grammar and carefully chosen language with it. Consider this from Abraham Lincoln about an unidentified person:
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
Quite clever, eh? This one makes you think. Not only is it a direct slam on the intended person, but it makes the insulter seem more credible because it's delivered in an intelligent way. -
Step 1
After you've delivered your insult, walk away calmly with your head held high!
Comments
webchic said
on 7/25/2008 Love it! I like the delivery of a retort without invoking your emotional ire - meaning they have not usurped your personal power, but you were quite level headed enough to creatively respond. Great article!