How to Talk to Your Children So That They Will Listen to You

We often get upset because our children don't seem to hear us when we try to communicate with them. These suggestions may help you to learn to communicate with your children.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Talk to your children but also listen. Many times we are so busy or intent on trying to get our children to listen to us that we don't listen to them. It is important to talk with them not just at them.

2. Listen. Many times you will hear kids say, "My parents never listen to me. They just preach to me and tell me what not to do or what to do." Our children want to be listened to and talked to and not preached at.

3. Share your experiences with them. Talk with them from the time they are little and share what you have experienced and they will listen to you. They may even start sharing more of their feelings with you. They will see you as a person with feelings not just a judge or someone to boss them around. When my son was little and would be having a hard time with something that happened to him at school or with a friend, I would share something that happened to me that was similar that he could relate to.
   Allow yourself to be vulnerable to your child so they can see that you also have feelings.

4. Be there for your child. Be a soft place to fall. When something happens to them or they have done something wrong, don't overreact. You don't need to coddle your child. Don't allow them to get away with something when they have serious consequences to pay. Show them that you still love them even when they have done wrong. Let them know that you will be there for them but don't take away their responsibilities if they have made mistakes.

Tips & Warnings

• It is important that our children grow up being responsible adults with consequences for the mistakes they make. It is also so important to rejoice with them when they have accomplishments.
• When we start with good relationships with our children when they are children we can have good relationships and even friendships with them when they become adults.