How to Live With an Introvert

Introverts are largely misunderstood even though they make up a sizable portion of the population. Common misconceptions include that a quiet or reflective person is aloof, has poor self-esteem or is overly self-involved. The truth is that many people are not solely introverts or extroverts and that differences between the two types are not inherently positive or negative, just different. Communication and other problems can be largely avoided when an extrovert learns what makes an introvert tick.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Understand how introverts find their energy and happiness to better relate to their actions. Introverts recharge from within and tend to put a higher priority on peace of mind. Therefore, they may engage in frequent or deep thought. This self-reflection can be confused with self-absorption.
2. Recognize that introverts tend to prefer fewer but closer relationships and often regard loyalty as an essential expression, both as a giver and receiver. As an extrovert, don't expect them to absorb all of your friendships and acquaintances. This is not a typical introvert way but also is nothing personal. Too many casual relationships may drain an introvert's energy that they feel is best concentrated elsewhere.
3. Engage in two-way conversations, active listening included, as this allows the introvert to better say what is on his or her mind. Highly extroverted people, including others they encounter daily, may take advantage of the quiet introvert. Resentments build accordingly so don't mistake lack of complaints as contentment.
4. Discuss with the introvert any negative feelings that arise from lack of communication, especially if the introvert is more isolated than you. You may indeed feel ignored. Both parties can learn from each other and repeated discussions may be necessary.
5. Try to reach a compromise with the introvert on entertainment issues. An introvert is unlikely to become a social butterfly, but if they rarely accompany you to important events or even a monthly night out, work on a better arrangement.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't drop your friendships, but evaluate how to put them in balance with your relationship needs. It is OK to allow time for yourself to socialize and the introvert time to do their thing to recharge.
• Explain to the introvert how socialization affects your energy and happiness and that having many friendships does not dilute your loved one's worth.
• Introversion is not a personality defect, but both introverts and extroverts may suffer from low self-esteem. Learn to ascertain the difference.
• People do not necessarily conform in textbook fashion to personality types.