How to Prepare and Eat an Ortolan

In France, eating the small, fragile Ortolan Bunting is illegal. The fact that the ortolan is a protected species isn't the only reason for this: in addition, eating an ortolan is illegal because its preparation is one of the most sadistic processes in all of the culinary arts. After being diagnosed with cancer, French President François Mitterrand was served ortolan for his last meal.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Preparing the Ortolan

1. Capture the ortolan, alive. You will most often find it in the forest canopy.

2. Poke out the ortolan's eyes, and/or place it in a small and darkened cage.

3. Force-feed your avian prisoner oats and grain until it swells to grotesque and unnatural proportions: four times its size is ideal.

4. Drown it in Armagnac, a French brandy.

5. Pluck, and roast whole.

Eating the Ortolan

6. Place a napkin or cloth over your head. This large napkin is used for the gourmet's aesthetic desire to absorb the maximum odour with the flavor

7. Put the whole bird in your mouth, with only its beak protruding slightly from your lips.

8. Bite. You will sever the bird from its beak (which you then discard).

9. Chew.

10. Savor the intermingling flavors of fat, blood and guts. Do not panic when the bird's small, delicate bones begin to cut into your gums - you are actually supposed to slightly bleed, so as to fully drive home the decadence of what you have done.

Tips & Warnings

• It should take around fifteen minutes to chew.