How to Get a Roughing Penalty in Ice Hockey

The next time you hear a political candidate say, "It's time to take the gloves off," realize that the candidate is declaring that he or she is about to descend into the bowels of a negative campaign. However, the allusion to taking off gloves comes from hockey, based upon the difference between "roughing" and "fighting." Here's info on the roughing penalty.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Understand that "roughing" is basically a penalty called for fighting but fighting while keeping your gloves on. The moment the gloves come off, it's fighting.
2. Realize that at the college level and ultimately so at the professional level, referees will allow a fair degree of pushing, shoving, gnashing of teeth, growling, and muttering--even in French--before calling a roughing penalty.
3. Consider the realities of roughing. It could potentially place your team down a man if it is called only against you. If you are angry enough to want to inflict bodily harm, you need to remove your gloves
4. Apply logic to these realities. If you're going to get called for roughing, make very sure your opponent is called as well. If you're too angry to care, take off your gloves. Your opponent will then either take off his gloves and automatically also be called for fighting or not. If not, well then, pound the you-know-what out of him.
5. To get called for roughing, with gloves in place do something that will force your opponent to respond aggressively.
6. Realize that pushing and shoving will probably not be enough to achieve your goal. Suggested techniques are grabbing ears, aggressive tweaking of noses, and pulling jerseys over opponent's heads while turning them around in embarrassing circles.
7. Add psychological barbs, i.e. attacks on your opponent's pride and self-esteem, if he still refuses to respond to your aggression--for example, snarl at him, "'The National Anthem' is much more melodious than "Oh Canada"--or vice versa.