How to be an Empathetic Listener

Many people have a difficult time really listening to someone else. With such a busy life, so much information passes through the brain that being still and listening becomes difficult. Listening is very important in communicating with another, and to really listen and understand, you need to be an empathetic listener. Empathy is an action taken by a person to understand, be aware of, be sensitive to, and to get the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another. Here are some steps to help you become an empathetic listener.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. The empathetic listener projects their own personality into the personality of the speaker, so that they can better understand the speaker. They put themselves into the shoes of the speaker so they may fully understand where the speaker is coming from. It is easiest to understand when one person has experienced the same or similar situation of another person. That does not always happen though. It takes work from the listener to try and imagine what it would be like for the speaker to have gone through their situation.
2. Empathetic listeners try to adopt the emotions and feelings of the speaker. They listen for the meanings rather than just the words. Nonverbal communication is sometimes clearer than verbal. The pitch of the voice, look on the face, posture, tapping of foot, and more are all play a part in the communication process. This also gives the speaker an opportunity to open up to the listener and process the feelings they have. It is so important to pick up on the nonverbals for many people do not say the words they are truly feeling when they are upset about something for fear of loss of relationship, job, environment, or other.
3. Paraphrasing can be used in empathetic listening, which simply means to reword the thought or statement made by the speaker to see if it was understood or needs to be clarified. For example, if someone is telling you about how they made a mistake in life by marrying too young. You may say something like, "I’m sure it is difficult getting married at a young age." Reflecting feelings also is used in communicating the feelings the speaker is displaying. For example, you may say something like, "That must have been so painful for you," when they are telling you about the loss of a parent, and are obviously experiencing pain in talking about it.
4. Summarize the main theme and feelings of the speaker after a long period of conversation. The shows empathetic listening and helps the speaker sort out all that has been said.

Tips & Warnings

• You can practice these listening skills by either listening to a discussion on the radio or watching a discussion on TV.
• You can practice with a spouse or friend.