How to Surrender to Temptation

Sweet Surrender

Contributor

By Amanda Ford
eHow Contributing Writer

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(19 Ratings)

I know a woman who longs for something different. She has lived in the same town and worked in the same job for years, and she often complains that her life lacks excitement. When her boyfriend of 7 months got a job in Switzerland, he begged her to move with him. Tempting? Absolutely! But sadly this woman couldn’t seize the opportunity. Instead she came up with a list of objections as to why the move wouldn’t work: she didn’t speak the language, she would lose her position in her company, she would have to house her beautiful four-poster bed in a storage locker. In the end, he left and she stayed. I know man who longs for a girlfriend. He is handsome, smart, dedicated, honest and a very good dancer. Women often flirt and drop hints that they are interested in him. Tempting? Of course! But sadly this man refuses to ask any of these women out on dates because he says he wants to be sure that a woman is girlfriend potential before he makes his move. “What if I give her the wrong idea?” he asks. “I don’t want things to be awkward.” Because of his rigidity, he sits alone, girlfriendless, night after night. Sadly these stories are all too common. Many of us miss opportunities for joy because we hold so tightly to the way things are “supposed” to be. The good news is, we can learn to loosen our grip and surrender to that which pulls strongest at our hearts.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

A desire for to a live a fully satisfying existence.

How to Surrender to Temptation

Step 1

Know that you deserve joy. When I refer to temptation, I am not talking about eating an entire carton of ice cream or downing 12 shots of tequila or cheating on your spouse or mindlessly blowing your paycheck on a pair of new shoes. I am not talking about the visceral, I am talking about the soulful, about those deep longings that we often squelch in order to act responsible and remain on the clear, safe, predictable path. But the thing is, you deserve joy even if it goes against what society expects of you, even if your parents think what brings you joy is weird, even if your closest friends don’t quite understand. You deserve joy! You deserve joy! You deserve every moment of heart pounding joy that you can get.
Step 2

Vow to live inspired. Inspiration does not come in the form of a checklist. Inspiration comes like the wind: unexpected and in gusts. What inspires you? Is it the thought of a painting class? A long bicycle ride? Playing banjo in a bluegrass band? Make a promise to acknowledge your longings when they come upon you, even if those longings are highly impractical. When the wind of inspiration blows, let it carry away the checklist of “Things I should be doing” and replace it with the murmur of “Things I want to be doing.”
Step 3

Recognize your fears. You want to talk to the woman/man across the room at a friend’s party, but don’t because you are afraid she/he will find you boring/weird/needy/ugly. Fear always inhibits us from stepping out of our comfort zones, and if we never step out of our comfort zones, we will never learn to surrender to that which we crave. The more you act in spite of your fears, the more brave you become. And the more you begin to see that our worst fears rarely come true.
Step 4

Let go of all you fear. Let go of all you believe. Let go of all you planned. Let go. Let go. Let go.
Step 5

Trust your intuition. When you have a gut feeling, act immediately. You’re first instinct is almost always right on.
Step 6

Revel in the moment. We often screw ourselves over when we take a moment and project it far into the future. A first date becomes a projection to marriage. A sweet kiss becomes a projection to children. You need not think of the future. It will arrive on its own. There is no moment other than this very one, so enjoy each second to the fullest.
Step 7

Observe without judgment. Observation sees situations for what they are without attachment. Judgment labels, categorizes, demands and expects.
Step 8

Allow yourself to turn around. Whether you are surrendering to romance, to your artistic passion, or to a new way of thinking, you are bound to get cold feet at some point. It’s okay to take it slow, to back up, to say no. You don’t need to rush. Surrender needn’t be rushed.

Comments

jdsasser said

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on 1/29/2008 Artful and cuts to the quick. Bravo.

amandaford said

on 11/8/2007 Thanks for the feedback! And for the edit. Those darn apostrophes have a way of sneaking themselves in there even under my most careful watch.

blescarmona said

on 11/8/2007 Beautiful article! It touches the heart in its most secret places. Just a bit of a typo in Step 6: "It will arrive on "it's" own." It should be "its" without the apostrophe, right? Otherwise, flawless in intent and execution. Nice!