How to Recognize a Codependent Spouse

A marriage is an easy place for a codependent to hide because many typical codependent behaviors can be explained away as the actions of a devoted and caring spouse. However, rampant and untreated codependency can ruin a marriage. The first step to getting help is to recognize if you have a codependent spouse. Read on to learn how to recognize a codependent spouse.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Look for signs of childhood trauma. Codependency often begins as a result of a traumatic childhood. If your spouse was raised in an alcoholic household, there's a good chance he exhibits codependent traits. In fact, any severe childhood trauma, such as abuse or neglect, can eventually result in codependency.
2. Notice her giving ways. A codependent spouse will wait on you all day long and never accept so much as a compliment for it. In fact, she may get flustered when you try to pamper her. She takes on all the care-taking jobs in the household and then may complain that she's the only one who does anything.
3. Recognize self-deprecating language. Codependents generally have low self-esteem. They judge themselves harshly, which only lowers their self-esteem. While you can't see inside his head, you can get a glimpse of his thoughts by listening to his language. If he's codependent, your spouse probably puts himself down a lot or makes self-deprecating jokes often.
4. Watch how she behaves toward you in public. A codependent tends to be clingy in an intimate relationship. She may not feel comfortable when you're out of her sight because of her lack of self-confidence. Your spouse's public displays of affection may not be just pure romance. They could also be a sign of her codependency.