How to Blow Smoke Rings

Sure, it's popular to say that smoking is a disgusting habit. And, sure, it's not so great for your health. But if you're going to smoke, then by Jupiter, you might as well look cool doing it.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A cigarette
• A tongue
• A throat
• A mouth

1. Take a long pull off of your cigarette. Do not inhale. Part of the reason smoking is bad for you is because the smoke clings to your lungs, thus becoming thinner upon exhale. You want that thick, milky smoke that comes from trapping it in your mouth.

2. While you're taking the drag, block your throat with the back of your tongue. This is most easily done by raising the base of your tongue to touch the roof of your mouth, just in front of your uvula (that useless, dangling teardrop thing in that back of your mouth). This will create a compartment for that heavy smoke you're going to use for your rings.

3. Create an "O" formation with your mouth and lips. You'll want to look as much like a caroler from a Norman Rockwell painting as possible.

4. This is the difficult part. Push the smoke out of your mouth by sliding the base of your tongue forward across the roof of your mouth. As your tongue is pushing forward, your jaw should raise slightly, tightening the "O" your mouth is making. This will create the pressure that will both apply the tight ring shape and send the smoke ring out into the ether. Continue this process at whatever pace you choose, depending on how many rings you want and how badly you want to gross out healthy environmentalist types.

Tips & Warnings

• The faster you move your tongue and mouth, the smaller, tighter (and more numerous) the rings will be. The slower, the larger and thicker the rings will be.
• Once you've master this process, try inhaling.
• Smoking causes lung cancer, heart disease, emphysema and may complicate pregnancy.
• Quitting smoking now greatly reduces serious risks to your health.
• Smoking by pregnant women may result in fetal injury, premature birth and low birth weight.
• Cigarette smoke contains carbon monoxide.
• The ability to blow smoke rings may make your friends jealous.

[jvillegas]

on 8/14/2008 Eli, my name is Juan Villegas, I'm the assistant editor for Latino News, a hispanic newspaper in Passaic County.

I would like to reproduce your article "Homeless in Paterson...A growing wound" (??), giving, of course, credit to the Patersonian, which, I am assumming, was the first paper to publish it.

Nonetheless, in order for me to publish the article, a picture of the author must accompany it.

Would you then be kind enough to send me a picture of yourself to [e-mail] ? ?

I would really appreciate it.

Juan V.

[Cherst1031]

on 5/18/2008 Too funny. I don't smoke, but that does look cool!

[Eli-Z]

on 11/3/2007 I use a completely different method