How to Forgive a Family Member

To rise above family conflict, tension, anger or hurt requires the process of forgiving. This means letting go of the offense by letting in wellbeing through love. To forgive enables families to come together. The process to forgive offers both inner healing for the offended while removing guilt and sorrow for the offender.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Think how we all disappoint someone at sometime within the family. Forgiveness allows putting an unpleasant situation behind us. Many times, it's not easy to do, but it remains the best solution for mending.

2. Let time pass to get over the emotional elements. It's often hard to think of forgiving a member of the family when close to the event. Harboring anger and bitterness hurts yourself as well as others.

3. Bring yourself to a point when you're able to forgive out of decision and not feeling. The timing of healing varies among people and situations, but its arrival makes for genuine forgiveness.

4. Talk with the offending family member when you feel the time has arrived for constructive dialog. Discuss the troubles the offense caused you or family members, love for the person and a need to apologize or to accept apology. Forgiving works best when both parties come to terms.

5. Distance yourself from mentally reliving the offending event. Forgiving a family member means putting a period behind the offense and not bringing it up as a hurtful weapon against the forgiven.

6. Forgive even if a family member doesn't want it. Do your part to protect the wellbeing and personal quality of your life.

[memento]

on 10/28/2008 Tell me what to do, if the offender is your own son-young adult, that acts like there is no responsibilities for him, no thanks, and everybody just must do everything for him; if you give him advice-- he does just the opposite, if you slightly pressure him to do things for his own good, he runs away and does....just cuts his own nose despite the face...I give up, I'm tired of being hurt by him, I wash my hands.

[ablady81]

on 9/25/2008 Enough is enough! In life you can't be giving people too many chances, even if they're your family. Sometimes it's better just to distance yourself from them, until they know how to apologize. No one says that life was perfect. But no one also, says that you have to deal with the same crap all the time.

[norse96]

on 1/15/2008 What if the family member has been emotionally abusive and tells your child things that you did years ago and causes problems between you and your teenage/young adult daughter? This is very hard especially when I have asked for forgiveness and worked hard to restore the relationship and make right the hurt I caused as a young adult but they will not let it go?

[AtlantaBorn]

on 9/29/2008 Your article says, "Talk with the offending family member when you feel the time has arrived for constructive dialog." What do you do when the offending person takes no responsibility for his/her actions, denies they did anything, then cries and lies to others in the family and says that you are abusing them?