Step1
The first thing you will have to decide is which bad horror movie you want to watch. There are literally thousands of them to choose from! Do you want to watch a classically bad horror movie, like Ed Wood's "Plan 9 from Outer Space" or maybe something more modern like Troma's masterpiece "Poultrygeist?"
There are a host of major motion picture knock offs which qualify as well, like the films produced by The Asylum. Check out their upcoming take on Alien vs.. Predator coincidentally coined, "Alien vs.. Hunter." Following a few simple steps will have you enjoying, and maybe even appreciating, bad horror!
Step2
The next thing you should do is decide who to share the fun with. If you are married or have a boy or girlfriend, then the choice is already made. You will want to make sure that the person you are going to be watching with is open minded and not easily annoyed.
Step3
Set the mood! Clean up your viewing area for a comfortable night of movie watching. Dust the TV screen. Light a candle or two. If it is close to Halloween and there is a chill in the deep, dark night air, then have a cozy blanket at the ready.
Step4
With everything in place, pop some popcorn, turn off all of your lights and settle down for some bad horror!
Step5
The movie will usually begin with some cheesy looking credits and the film may appear grainy. That's OK, that is why we dusted off the TV screen, so you could get the clearest grainy picture possible.
Step6
You may have to fidget with the sound occasionally. Bad horror movies have a tendency to over amplify the musical soundtrack while keeping the dialogue to a whisper. This is OK too. It keeps you on your toes and it trains your ears in case you ever find yourself trapped on a submarine miles below the surface.
Step7
The next thing you should appreciate is the acting. This is where the bad horror movie really excels. From emotionless expressions to over-the-top screams of terror, the actors and actresses hit their targets perfectly. In fact, these actors are so good, you would never believe that their last jobs were bagging groceries and pumping gas.
Step8
Besides the acting, the sound and the picture quality, the other thing to appreciate in bad horror movies is the directing. There is an artistry to it and some directors are masters in their field. Just look to the film "Starkweather" for a fine example.
In this film from director Byron Werner, the boom microphone makes enough appearances to qualify as a co-star, or at least a cameo. It goes to show how far the director is willing to go for his fans. Rather than his viewers miss a word of spellbinding dialogue, he would rather the microphone be in the scene like a giant hovering horsefly. When was the last time you noticed dedication like that in a Spielberg film?
Step9
The most important key to appreciating bad horror is to just not take it seriously. You should know that when you sit down to watch "Gingerdead Man" or "Evil Bong" that you are not going to be watching "Schindler's List," which by the way I have never seen. I just cannot seem to find the time to watch it, not when I have films like "Monsturd" calling my name!
How to Appreciate Bad Horror
Set the mood! Clean up your viewing area for a comfortable night of movie watching. Dust the TV screen. Light a candle or two. If it is close to Halloween and there is a chill in the deep, dark night air, then have a cozy blanket at the ready.
