Things You'll Need:
- Bible
- Journal
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Step 1
To submit to your husband you must understand that marriage is not fifty-fifty as our culture would like us to think. Marriage is both partners giving one hundred percent all of the time. This may seem like an impossible feat, and perhaps it is, but it is the example we should all strive toward everyday. It does not matter the situation, or whether you feel as if you are the only one doing the giving. The second you begin to think you are doing all of the work, bitterness will take root in your heart, and your selfish nature triumphs.
At the root of most evil things we do is self-centeredness, or pride. Think about this for a minute.
We are to HUMBLE OURSELVES. Jesus tells us, "The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and
whoever humbles himself will be exalted" (NIV Matthew 23:11-12).
We live in a "Me-first" society. Our own children utter the word "mine" as soon as they are able. By submitting to your husband, you will begin to cultivate a servant's heart and hopefully pass this behavior on to your children. -
Step 2
Pray each morning that God will guide you and give you a servant's heart and help you submit to your husband. When we serve others we deny ourselves. Serving others also helps to build them up and produces great character. This does not mean you're a slave, but that you acknowledge you husband's leadership role in the family.
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Step 3
Read your Bible daily. You may choose to start with selections about marriage; however, the entire Bible is filled with examples and models for our behavior toward others, including our husband.
To begin with a study of the commandment to submit to our husbands, read Ephesians 5. You should realize that there are multiple layers to this study. Not only are wives to submit to their husbands, but husbands are commanded to love their wife. You should also note that as the body of Christ (The Church) we are all (men and women)spiritually brides of Christ. -
Step 4
Keep a journal of events that happen during the day. How did you handle them? How should you have handled them? Periodically look back and notice the progress you made. Learning to submit is not an easy task. It goes against every fiber of our being. Nearly everything tells us to put ourselves first and our thoughts are better than others'.
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Step 5
We, as women, tend to be controlling. We believe we know how to do everything best. Start letting your husband make decisions. After all, he is the head of the family, just as Christ is the head of the church.
**Does this mean your opinion does not matter? Absolutely not! You should always try and make decisions together, but do not try and push yours. Express your concerns, give counsel. If you can not agree, allow him to be the final decision.
Consider these verses, written by the wise man, Solomon:
Proverbs 12:4 - A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
Proverbs 17:14 - Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.
Proverbs 19:13 - ...a quarrelsome wife is like constant dripping -
Step 6
Start doing all the things he asks you to do, and then some to bless your husband.
**Does this mean we are making ourselves slaves? No! We are servants. Remember, Jesus tells us that "If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you" (NIV Matthew 5: 41-42).
By doing things your husband asks you you will build trust in your relationship. Your husband learns that he can rely and lean on you for support. -
Step 7
Understand that it is your role as a wife to be humble and to submit to your husband and family.
**Does this mean that we are less than our husbands? Of course not! We are one in the same. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (NIV Genesis 2:24). We must care for and love our husbands as we care for and love ourselves.
Again, this is not how society puts it out to be. We are not poor little women locked up as slaves in our household. We do this willingly to bless and build up our family. -
Step 8
Husbands automatically respond to this behavior. You will notice your husband growing fonder of you and feeling more relaxed. He will treasure you for being so caring and helpful.
Comments
JoyNmyHeart said
on 10/21/2009 Amen sister! I have seen MULTIPLE marriages saved when the wife started doing the right thing first. Once wives start to give honor and respect to their husbands, even when they do not "deserve it", the husbands respond in turn and step up to the plate and start deserving the respect. When I first started submitting to my husband I did it out of obedience to God (See 1 Peter 2:19-20)now I do it because my husband has become the man I always wanted. I treat him like I would treat Jesus and he treats me like Jesus would treat the church, for whom He gave his life up.
jporcenaluk said
on 10/21/2009 I can see how this article can be polarizing, but most points, I believe, can be appreciated by those of all faiths and even by those with none at all. Giving 100% in all of your relationships is the key aspect to maintaining and growing them! 5*
jaicard said
on 10/21/2009 My God doesn't agree with you.
pieceofscrap said
on 10/21/2009 Well written article, but I do not agree with all points.
greenback said
on 10/21/2009 Speaking from a guy's point of view, I don't want a woman who will always submit to me. I want a lady who be strong enough to tell me when I'm wrong and fight for what she believes in, even when it's not the same opinion that I hold. But as they say different strokes for different folks. Great that it works for you.