How to Set Boundaries With Troublesome In-Laws

You love your spouse, but when you look at his or her family, you just can't see the connection. You may dread their visits as they manage to unleash a special brand of chaos on your household the minute they arrive. Setting boundaries with the in-laws is crucial to making sure your relationship is a success. Here's how.

Instructions

1. Limit contact. It sounds cruel, but it's better to spend five minutes of quality time than two hours of misery with someone. By limiting your contact with your in-laws, you can actually improve the quality of the time you spend together.

2. Plan controlled visits. When you do spend time with your in-laws, it should be a carefully planned time. Choose a location and activity that don't leave you vulnerable. If your father-in-law is an avid golfer, joining him on the golf course only opens you up to criticism and disapproval.

3. Agree to disagree. Accept that you and the in-laws don't see eye to eye on everything. Avoid discussing stressful topics. As soon as you're aware the conversation is becoming controversial, change the subject. There's no reason to perpetuate unpleasant conversation. You aren't going to change their minds, so don't try.

4. Play by the house rules. When visiting on their turf, respect their rules. When they visit at your house, expect them to respect your rules. Gently remind them when they break one of your house rules and redirect them. You could say, "We don't smoke in here, but I can get you a chair to sit out on the patio if you need to smoke."