How to Act Like a Superstar

Paparazzi, entourages, glamorous parties and, of course, run-ins with the law are all part and parcel of the lifestyle of today's superstars. These larger-than-life figures behave with an attitude of pomp and power that would rival that of a Renaissance king. Follow these steps to convincingly act like a world-famous celebrity.

Instructions

1. Get an entourage. No celebrity exists without a proper entourage. Your retinue of followers should include assistants, fans and, of course, a dedicated "glam squad" to make sure your hair, makeup and wardrobe are picture perfect.

2. Brand your name. Whether you drop your last name or your first or make your name into a superstar portmanteau such as "Brangelina," you should make your name into a trademark. Your name is the first part of you that your adoring public meets, so make it memorable and say it often.

3. Be fussy and picky. Superstars are used to getting what they want. Madonna ships expensive bottled water wherever she goes, while J. Lo insists on having a certain kind of chewing gum on hand at all times. Start making ridiculously specific demands to act like a super-celeb. Remember, there is no request too small or big for a superstar, so don't hold back.

4. Pretend you don't want your picture taken while deliberately putting yourself in the limelight. Celebrities, who earn their bread and butter (and their diamonds and gold) by posing for a camera, act as if they are allergic to a flash bulb. But, as the old Zen masters teach, "we pursue that which retreats from us," so pretend to avoid the cameras while being center-stage at all times.