How to Tame a Shrew
William Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew" was first published in 1623. Ever since, men have been trying to figure out how to handle a nagging, complaining and generally hard-to-get-along-with wife. Here are some steps to help tame your shrew.
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Instructions
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Realize that the proper relation of the sexes in marriage has been debated for centuries. Proceed with caution. Taming a shrew can be hazardous to your health.
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Establish immediately that you are equal to your shrew in verbal communication. Practice a quick wit. You must be able to stay on your toes and respond quickly to her insults if you plan to tame a shrew. Go to any lengths necessary to prove you're as smart as she is and that you can hold your own against her barbed tongue.
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Brace yourself against temper tantrums. You must not be intimidated in the face of screaming, yelling and having obscenities hurled at you. Watch for flying objects hurled at your head also. Duck and dodge nimbly. These skills are crucial for survival when you tame a shrew.
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Remember that contrary to what may have been acceptable in 1623, wife-beating is not an acceptable solution to the taming of a shrew.
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Keep your shrew awake at night. Lack of sleep promotes submission. Use your imagination in accomplishing this.
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Deprive her of food. Think of ways to delay meals and invent reasons why she should not eat. A woman who is both tired and hungry will eventually lose steam.
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Take her shopping for beautiful clothes, then refuse to buy them until she changes her behavior.
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Tips & Warnings
Watch your back and don't sleep too soundly. To tame a shrew nowadays may not be as successful as it was in Shakespeare's day.
