How to Ditch a Loser

Losers are notorious for showing up where you don't want them. They're losers--they don't have friends of their own. The trick to not having your day ruined is to ditch the loser and get on with your activities. The problem is that the biggest losers find ways to hang on despite attempts to shake them. For this reason, subtlety is not an option when you need to ditch a loser.

Instructions

1. Find an alternate activity for the loser. Ditch the loser by strongly suggesting an activity. Send the loser on a special errand for you, complimenting the person on his fantastic ability to get the errand done.

2. Match the loser with a new friend. Talk each loser up to the other one to ensure that one thinks the other is worthwhile. Even the biggest losers can hopefully find like-minded friends.

3. Send your newly acquainted losers on an errand together to cement their friendship.

4. Annoy and bore the loser, if you have a loser that just won't go. Allow the biggest losers to slowly get bored or annoyed with you. Hopefully, they eventually find other things to do.

5. Cover your tracks. Leave without telling your loser where you're going, and don't allow anyone else to tell him. Go somewhere unexpected, if your loser is likely to search for you.

6. Pretend to forget the loser's name. Do this every time you see the loser, even if you've known her for years.