How to Deal With a Difficult Neighbor
So you've got a "problem neighbor"? Neighborly disputes can be based on almost anything: piles of tires in the yard, family screaming matches or the age-old barking dog issue. There are a number of ways to deal with your neighbor based on his and your communication styles and how much you want to escalate (or de-escalate) the situation.
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Instructions
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Talk it out. Simple face-to-face chats are the most direct solution. However, as we all know, human nature tends to get in the way. Most times, a real problem with a neighbor goes beyond the talking stage. It's worth a try, though.
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If your neighbor won't talk, you have to analyze how you want to respond to the problem based on his/her abilities or economic situation, for instance. You might end up feeling sorry for this person and overlooking odd behaviors. Or you might end up wanting to send them to Kalamazoo.
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Here's where you start calling in help: the first place to start is with your homeowner's association. If you live in a new or "intentional" housing community, you probably have one of these associations that are increasingly used nowadays to navigate the whole spectrum of Jeffersonian property rights issues that used to be handled by constables or just plain common sense. Try asking your HOA representative what can be done in a certain situation.
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If you don't have an HOA, another place you can go is to your municipal government. Many American communities have borough, township or county level government boards (some volunteer) responsible for making ordinances and local policies to regulate all kinds of neighborly disputes. Find out what the actual local policies are and use them to your advantage. If your neighbor's annoyance is illegal in any way, don't be shy. Speak up and get your board to enforce their rules, or possibly even come up with new ones that curtail whatever your neighbor is doing.
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Call the police. You may or may not want to take this step. Some neighbors don't like to be known as "the neighbor that calls the police". And then some neighbors do it at the drop of a hat. Basically, the risk of getting police involved is that your neighbor might view it as an escalation of the dispute. But on the other hand, at least it gets the problem documented.
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Talk again. Now that the issue has gone full circle, events might help you come to a neighborly compromise. If not, you'll have to keep relying on the tools explained above to advocate for your household. In the end, the most well-connected party (politically and socially) will usually come out ahead.
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Comments
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Call the police first, get a paper trail started. It is even better if you don't have an animal. If you call the cops, they will almost certainly say your animal is worse. Generally, most cops are so lazy that the first person who calls the cops is believed. Also, cops are paid to do this sort of thing. keep calling the cops every time the animal exhibits annoying behavior.
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So is it bad to be the neighbor that calls the police? I'm not saying that's what I am. I try to mind my own business. My neighbors' 19 yr old son loves to play his drums and by the way, he can't play that much, he only knows one beat..The police have constantly went in their house, but somehow, he still gets away with playing..His mother says that she should have got an ordance with the city or some stupid comment like that..Should this issue still be reported?
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hblocal
Jan 31, 2010
There is a big problem with Step 6. What does being "politically or socially" connected have to do with being a resident of HB?...But on second thought, HB has always seens itself as a "state" of its own. It is their 'do nothing' attitude towards domestic violence and abuse that ticks me off.
