How to Set Limits With Children

Children need rules and limits to help them learn to be respectful and responsible. Setting limits will help them to stay out of trouble and be better balanced as they grow up. Setting limits also helps them to know their boundaries and makes them more secure.

Instructions

1. Set limits according to what is age appropriate for the child. At around age 4 to 5, children are mostly able to comprehend limits and the consequences that follow--if they are explained clearly.

2. Discuss limits and consequences together with your child. This gives him a sense of empowerment. It also ensures that he understands what is expected of him and the results if he breaks them. When limits are clear, he is more likely to comply. Keep in mind that having an input from him doesn't mean you have to agree to everything he says.

3. Be consistent in the enforcement of limits and its consequences. For example, if she did not clean her room, she is not allow to watch her favorite television program or whatever consequence you agreed upon. You have to keep your word.

4. Exercise self-control when limits are broken. Do not shout, argue or yell. Use a calm and firm voice to discipline. Avoid using words that are sarcastic or that ridicule his worth. Your tone of discipline is important.

5. Strive to discipline with love and logic. Always be calm and firm as you discipline. Avoid lecturing, nagging, scolding and threatening. These are ineffective approaches to teaching a child to accept limits and learn his responsibility.

6. Reward your child when she cooperates. For example, if she played nicely with her friends, allow her to invite another friend over to play next week.

7. Set a good example for your child. Be consistent, firm and fair, and exercise love. A good example speaks louder than words.

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid setting too many limits as that might hinder your child's progress or learning.

• Set limits that are important to you, such as limits that reflect your values or belief.