How to Help a Friend in Need

There are many reasons why a friend might need help. If you want to help and don't know where to begin, here are a few ideas to keep in mind.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Express your concern. If your friend does not think he needs help, let him know that you are concerned and that you will support him.
2. Tell your friend that you want to help. Some people may have a difficult time asking for help because they don't want to be a burden. Let her know that you want to help her because you care for her.
3. Listen carefully. If your friend has reached out to you because he recognizes he needs help, listen closely so that you can get to the root of the problem.
4. Allow your friend to open up. Asking direct and general questions such as "What's wrong?" can often lead to him lying or saying nothing. Instead, say something like "I know something is wrong. If you want to talk about it, I'm here."
5. Keep it to yourself. If your friend does open up to you and discusses what is wrong, don't spread it around through hurtful gossip.
6. Know your limits. If the friend is abusing drugs or alcohol, is involved in an abusive relationship, has an eating disorder, is suicidal, or her health or life is in jeopardy in some other way, seek additional professional help.

Tips & Warnings

• Even if she gets mad at you, know that you are doing the right thing by contacting a professional when you recognize that your friend needs more help than you are capable of providing.
• Be patient and persistent. Sometimes it takes people a little while to open up.
• Do not force the issue if your friends' life or health is not in jeopardy. This will only alienate your friend.
• Do not pass judgment. No time is a good time to pass judgment, especially when a friend is in need of your help.
• Do not give up. If you keep offering help and your friend keeps refusing, keep trying. If you give up on trying, your friend may think you have given up on her.