How to Do an Anger Release

Is there someone in your life who is REALLY getting on your nerves? Are ready to explode at them? Before you do, here's an anger release technique I've been using for over 15 years. The power of it never ceases to amaze me. It works.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Pen
• Paper
• Quiet Time
• A safe place to burn pages

1. Find a quiet spot, get pen and writing paper. Don’t skimp on size or quantity—you don’t want to run out of paper and you DO want a large enough writing surface on which to vent.
2. Set a timer for ten minutes or place your watch nearby. Begin writing—pour your wrath, your frustration, your bile about this person onto the page. DO NOT STOP YOUR HAND, DO NOT STOP TO THINK—these are the keys to this exercise. Then when the time is up, put away the anger-soaked pages. Go about your day, no need to explain what you just did.
3. Day Two: Find your quiet place again, get out the pages your wrote the day before and read the entire thing, word-for-word. Set your timer again and go for another ten minutes. Same thing, keep that hand moving with no stopping. Then put the pages away again.
4. Day Three: Read over the previous pages and then one last time, write like crazy for ten minutes. Put it all away.
5. Day Four: Read the entire piece and then find a place where you can SAFELY burn it. As it burns, envision your rage being released. As the smoke billows away, let your anger go with it.
6. Now with a clear head and your bags emptied of rage, you can have a talk with the person. If it’s still needed. I’ve had the experience of not even needing to talk, having realized all of the issues were mine. But if there are things to discuss, at least you can talk about them knowing what’s your stuff and what is the other person’s.

Tips & Warnings

• Here’s the cool part: You’ve probably realized a thing or two (or three or four) as you wrote. About the other person. About yourself. Things bubbled up from your subconscious because you were writing so quickly and not censoring yourself. You may have gone into the writing thinking your co-worker was a control freak—and then realized you have the same issues and the other person is simply mirroring this back to you.
• You may have a lot of pages—so PLEASE be mindful of safety when burning them. Don’t do it indoors where smoke will set off the fire alarm, don’t let embers catch your brush in the backyard on fire. Fireplaces are good, so are cement driveways (where you could place the pages in a tin pie plate). Have water nearby.
• If you’re in an abusive relationship, seek professional help. This exercise is not intended as an excuse to stay there. If you need to walk away from abuse, seek help to do so.