How to Tell Your Wife You Want a Divorce

That’s it. You’ve come to the end of your patience with your marriage and it’s time to tell your wife you want a divorce. How do you tell the other half you want to be whole again? To tell your wife you want a divorce takes courage and tact.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Be absolutely sure you want a divorce. Exhaust all relationship counseling options.
2. Get legal counsel before you tell your spouse. Get the paperwork started.
3. Find a private place where you can tell her. Make sure the kids are with a competent caretaker.
4. Be clear and say “I want a divorce,” not “We need some time.”
5. Don’t back down from your position. You should have done all of your thinking about this matter ahead of time. If your wife asks for more time or another chance, the likely outcome is going to be you repeating your desire for a divorce after you’ve burned some more of your time in the marriage.
6. Maintain a civil tone of voice. Avoid gloating and laying blame. Try to stay civil.
7. Tell her that you both need to be there for the children. While you won’t be lovers anymore, you will always be parents to those kids. You must keep a civil relationship and not put them in the middle.
8. Respect the decision you made once upon a time to care enough about this person to tie your fortune and emotions to hers. You owe it to yourself and your wife.

Tips & Warnings

• Before you drop the bomb on your wife, make sure you have figured out what debts and assets exist in the marriage.
• If your wife does not contest the divorce, there are no children involved and both your assets and your wife’s assets are relatively small, you may be able to get divorced without the aid of a lawyer.
• Divorce is not something you say you want and then take back when your wife starts behaving how you would like. If your relationship is teetering on the edge, get counseling before throwing in the towel.
• Be sure you both explain to your children that this wasn’t their fault.
• Do not use your children as weapons against one another. They are innocent bystanders.
• Abusive relationships void all the exhortations listed above to work things out. If your marriage has turned abusive, get out now.